Welcome, ‏to Monday September 20, 2010.  The Top Signs That You Have A Boring Job…….

1. You’re introduced to everyone as “The Minesweeper God”.

2. You have visited every website in the world.

3. You’re the Spelling Bee Coordinator in rural Alabama.

4. You are the only one that is ready for the rush of ticket sales for that New Kids on the Block reunion tour.

5. You’re able to pull staples out of papers with your teeth.

6. Your doctor says that he’s never seen someone exposed to so much photocopier radiation in his life.

7. Your workload is so intense that you can write Top 10 lists all day long.

8. In your 10 years on the force as an Amish Traffic Cop, you have not had to write one single speeding ticket. 
 
Hey I’m just saying! Have an eye opening Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     

q u o t e s  o f   t h e   d a y 

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious – Alan Minter
 
“the bowler is Holding the batsmens Willey” Brian Johnston
 
I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted – George Best
 
Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country – Ian Rush

“You watch the pitlane while I stop the start watch…” – Murray Walker
 
He’s usually a good puller – but he couldn’t get it up that time. – Richie Benaud (cricket commentator)
 
What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football – Stuart Hall, (radio 5 live commentator)
 
“A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on” – Samuel Goldwyn.

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn’t been talking to each other.  Instead, they were giving each other written notes.  One evening he gave her a paper where it said: “Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am.” The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o’clock. Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying: “Wake up, it’s 6 o’clock!” 

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.”  

Answer: The Princess Bride! “The Princess Bride” is the penultimate faerie tale, suitable for any age. The action plays out as a grandfather (Peter Falk of “Columbo” fame) reads the story to his grandson (Fred Savage of “The Wonder Years), who is home sick from school. Grandson: “See! I told you she’d never marry that mean old Humperdink!” Grandpa: “Yes. You’re very smart. Shut up.”
Haven’t we all dreamed of telling this to our children? 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Poor John. Who says poor John? Don’t everybody sob at once! My God, if I went up in flames there’s not a living soul who’d pee on me to put the fire out!”

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Even when your hustling days are gone she’ll still be by your side still holding on.”?

ANSWER: Must Be Nice! Lyfe was in prison for a while. 

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I’m a hustla. I can sell salt to a slug.”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..   

In this teaser, you are to start with the word ‘FETED’, and then each time, change a letter to make a new word. You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘MINOR’.
You must do this in five (5) turns.
Good luck.

FETED
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _

MINOR 

ANSWER:  FETED, METED, METER, MITER, MINER, MINOR  

Monday’s Quizzler is…  

In this teaser you have been given two (2) clues in each line. Each word differs by only one (1) letter, which I have given you. Your task is to discover the answers to the clues provided. The order of the letters do not change.

Example:

Remove _ _ _ I _ _ / _ _ _ U _ _ Justify

Answer:

E X C (I) S E / E X C (U) S E

1. subdivide _ _ _ _ _ R _ / _ _ _ _ _ C _ dense

2. obscure _ _ _ _ D / _ _ _ _ T strike

3. billfold W _ _ _ _ _ / B _ _ _ _ _ dance

4. misfortune C _ _ _ _ / D _ _ _ _ refuse  

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Answers in  TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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