Welcome, ‏to Friday October 1, 2010. Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue….

Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better.

Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag

2. You Can Change The Oil Too

4. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug

5. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas

6. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness

7. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football

8. Parenting – Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around

9. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop

10. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right

11. Get A Life – Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself

12. Balancing A Checkbook – Even You Can Get It Right

13. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility

14. You, The Whining Sex

15. Shopping – Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours

16. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother

17. How To Close The Garage Door

18. If You Don’t Want An Excuse, Don’t Demand An Explanation

19. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia

20. Living Without Power Windows – How To Turn A Crank

21. Romanticism – The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation

22. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself

23. Why You Don’t Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend

24. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous

25. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother

26. You Too Can Carry A Backpack

27. Female Friendship – Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most

28. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men

29. Attainable Goal – Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving

30. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste

  Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!     
 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s

Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq

“Husseinfeld”

“Mad About Everything”

“U.S. Military Secrets Revealed”

“Suddenly Sanctions”

“Allah McBeal”

“Wheel of Fortune and Terror”

“Achmed’s Creek”

“Iraq’s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers”

“Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs”

“Just Shoot Me”  

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “Put them (your hands) on the Oodles of Noodles.” “Chicken or beef?””Chicken!” 

Answer: Blue Streak! “Blue Streak” involves Miles Logan pretending to be a cop so that he can retrieve a diamond that he once hid in a building, because he had stolen it and was about to get caught by the police. Unfortunately, while Miles was in jail, the building he hid the diamond in was redeveloped into a police station! The only way Miles can get into the building is to pretend he is a policeman!  Miles says this quote to his friend, Tulley, to put his hands on the Oodles of Noodles, because Miles is pretending to be a cop and Tulley is robbing the shop they are in. Miles doesn’t realise it is Tulley at first, and so he is attempting to arrest him! 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “You’re gonna talk to me about style? You can’t even dress yourself… look at that bow tie.”
“Don’t you be talking about my bow tie!”

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “She named her daughter Alexus”?

ANSWER: “All Falls Down”- Kanye West! Kanye West picked up a few awards at the Grammys in 2005. 

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.”  “You make me wanna lala!

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

There are 4 clues below. Each clue is related to a type of candy. You have to try to figure out what each candy is. Good luck!
1. The average worker loves this day.
2. When actors or actresses get a little break.
3. Think of the 4th planet from the sun.
4. Also referred to as ‘geeks’.

ANSWER:   1. Pay Day, 2. Take 5, 3. Mars Bar, 4. Nerds   

 Friday’s Quizzler is… 

 What saying is hidden in this rebus?

Playing at first base is Bert Kidney.
Playing at second base is Ernie Liver.
Playing at third base is Tom Stomach.
Playing at shortstop is Jerry Pancreas.
Playing behind home plate is Felix Heart.
On the mound is Oscar Lung.

  TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5!  INCREDIBLE SOLVING JAZZZZ! 

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