Welcome, ‏to Friday October 8, 2010.  Eleven Things a Guy Learned From Action Movies……

1. No matter what my problem is, it’s the fault of someone other than myself, and the appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare hands.

2. To be truly attractive, a woman must wear high heels and an outfit so tight you can tell whether she’s cold or not from across the room.

3. There are two kinds of women in the world: The type that want to go to bed with you, and the type want to kill you. Both types are physically attractive and under 25 years old.

4. If I rudely argue with my boss in front of my co-workers, not only won’t he fire me, but he will gain a profound respect for me.

5. If I can find an important enough mission, it will supercede my obligations to perform household chores, bathe, and call the next day.

6. If I go without bathing, swear a lot, and treat women badly, they will adore me.

7. If a woman tries to clean a bullet wound and I curse in pain, she will fall in love with me.

8. Anyone who isn’t a cop, mercenary soldier, and/or private investigator is gay. Or at least a sissy.

9. If I have a prolonged fist-fight with another guy and neither of us dies, we will become best friends.

10. My arch-enemy will bear an uncanny resemblance in age and bearing to my father, and he will make it clear that he has gained a deep respect for me before I kill him with my bare hands.

11. When I shoot people, they will die quickly and cleanly, and I will never be arrested or troubled by their widowed wife and children. When people shoot me, however, I will at most receive a ‘flesh wound,’ which will be tended to by a beautiful woman.

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“What’s another word for thesaurus?” – Steven Wright.

“Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.” – G.W. Hegel (philosopher)
 
“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.” Mark Twain. –
 
“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” – Terry Pratchett.
 
“Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.” – Ambrose Bierce
 
“You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.” – Rowan Atkinson.
 
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” – Groucho Marx.
 
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” – Les Dawson.

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?” – Steven Wright.
 
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde.
 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?” “Yes,” the golfer responded. “Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?” “Yes, I did. How did you know?” he asked. “Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?” The golfer thought it over carefully and responded… “I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.”  

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “You know, most kids hope for a car for their 16th birthday, not a country!” and “This is between a waltz and a tango.” “It’s a wango?”  

Answer: Princess Diaries! “Princess Diaries” is about Mia Thermopolis – a 15 year old girl who finds out that she is the princess of Genovia. It involves Mia taking princess lessons and choosing for herself whether or not she actually wants to rule Genovia. With the help of her grandmother, Queen Clarisse, and Joe, her chauffeur, she learns how to be a princess and how to behave. It’s very amusing! Mia says the first quote to her grandmother Queen Clarisse. Mia is not happy when she first finds out that she is a princess. She just wants a normal life, which in this case involves hoping that she will get a car when she turns 16 so she can drive. Instead Mia realises it is more likely that she will get to rule Genovia. The second quote is said by Joe when he is teaching Mia to dance in a Genovian manner, and Mia replies “It’s a wango?”. Her reply shows that she is still young – yet she is supposed to be old enough to rule a country soon!  

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “There can’t be a seventh Sixth Chick; it’s just mathematically impossible.” and “Thirty and flirty and thriving.” 

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Put your back in motion”? 

ANSWER: “The Potion”- Ludacris! Ludacris sings this song and it’s from his 2004 album “The Red Light District”.

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “I see you looking at what you see, boy don’t be shy”. _________________________________________________________________________
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

The answers to each of the clues below are words that could have an alternate definition if the words were read incorrectly. For example, if the word “coward” was incorrectly read as having “co-” as a prefix to the word “ward,” its definition could be “to jointly parry or keep something away.” Can you figure out the mispronounced prefixes that could have the definitions given below?
1. a small, 3-chambered vessel for holding medicines
2. the stride that comes before running with long, smooth bounds
3. to unite together again for a special purpose
4. two buildings or rooms used for the retail sale of goods
5. a particle of matter that is not an electrically charged atom or group of atoms
6. to commit a transgression against God again

ANSWER:  1. trivial, 2. antelope, 3. really, 4. bishop, 5. union, 6. resin

Friday’s Quizzler is… 

Find the names of the jewelry pieces by adding one of the given letters to each word and rearranging the letters. All the letters will not be used.

A B C I K M N P S U

1. Tanned + ? =
2. Treacle + ? =
3. Garner + ? =
4. Metal + ? =
5. Nitpick + ?

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Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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