Welcome, ‏to Wednesday October 13, 2010.  HOW TO WRITE GOOD………..

Avoid alliteration. Always.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)

Employ the vernacular.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Contractions aren’t necessary.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

One should never generalize.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

Be more or less specific.

Understatement is always best.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be avoided.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.  

Hey I’m just saying! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.”
– Anonymous

“Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract
instead of under observation.”
– Walter Winchell 
 
“The Postal Service is facing a $7 billion budget short
fall. So in addition to closing the post offices, they’re
also raising the price of a first-class stamp. It will
now be $4,000.” –Jimmy Kimmel
 
“A new government study has found that the average American
car weighs five-hundred pounds more than it did ten years
ago. However, this is only true if an average American is
sitting in the car.” –Conan O’Brien
 
“New York is a great town, though. If you’re here and want a
one of a kind souvenir be sure to take home the police sketch
of your assailant.” –Dave Letterman 
 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams. About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, “Ma’am, this potato is bad.” She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, “Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know.”  

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from????  “I don’t know about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I have ever seen.”?    

Answer:  Ice Age! In “Ice Age” (2002), Manny the mammoth and Sid the sloth are two very different animals who end up migrating together, because Manny prefers to be alone, and Sid’s herd left him behind. Along the way, they rescue a baby that lost its mother in a tiger attack, and decide to follow the human tribe to return the baby to them. They are joined by Diego, a sabre tooth tiger, who has ulterior motives – he wants to bring the baby back to his herd. On their journey, Manny, Sid and Diego become good friends, and decide to stay together as a herd, prompting Sid to say this quote. “Ice Age” spawned two sequels: “Ice Age: The Meltdown” (2006) and “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs” (2009). 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? ” Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late… I use the side door – that way Lumbergh can’t see me. And, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour… I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I’m working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I’d say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.”?

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.”  “you wont get to see the tears I’ve cried” come from? 

ANSWER: Behind These Hazel Eyes! Kelly Clarkson won the first season of “American Idol” in September 2002.  

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “One day we’ll wake up and this will all just be a dream”?

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is..  

What does the following rebus represent?

1. Do Do
2. Dew Dew
3. Due Due 

ANSWER:  To Do List  (Two “do/dew/etc.” list)     

Wednesday’s Quizzler is… 

There once was a family of spies. One of them is celebrating his birthday, and the Mommy spy gave him gifts. The celebrant did not say anything; instead he gave this set of words:

toes
heat
ambition
nose
kiss
see
for
oneupmanship
route
tough

And because the family are spies, the Mom understood the message.
What was the message?   

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Answers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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