Welcome, ‏to Friday October 22, 2010. Mother’s dictionary……….
 
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”  

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great weekend folks, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace I am outta here!    

Q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y !  

“Starting in January, couples can actually get married at
McDonald’s in Hong Kong. I’m not saying those marriages
won’t work, but when have you been to a McDonald’s and not
regretted it one hour later?” -Jimmy Fallon
 
“Carl’s Jr. is selling a foot-long burger. You may know it
better as ‘meatloaf.'” -David Letterman
 
“One of Nietzsche’s beliefs was that every person has
different sides like free will versus destiny, good versus
evil, or Mary Kate versus Ashley.” -Craig Ferguson 

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s 

Every year on their wedding anniversary my boss, Woody, and his wife celebrated by staying at the same resort hotel. On their 25th anniversary they booked their usual room. But when the hotel’s bell captain escorted them upstairs, they were in for a big surprise. “There must be some mistake,” Woody said. “This looks like the bridal suite.” “It’s okay,” the bell captain reassured him. “If I put you in the ballroom, that doesn’t mean you have to dance.” 

_________________________________________________________________________

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? “And here is your receipt.”  

Answer:  The Blues Brothers! Jake and Elwood Blues spend most of this 1980 film trying to raise money to prevent the closure of the orphanage in which they were raised. After extensive hijinks and blues music, they finally succeed in paying the Cook County Assessor’s office the necessary fee to save the orphanage.  The clerk who processes this payment and speaks the final line of dialogue is played by none other than Steven Spielberg, a personal friend of director John Landis. By the way, the Blues Brothers’ band does perform one more song (“Jailhouse Rock”) after this scene, but I don’t count lyrics of a song to be dialogue. 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!  What movie is this quote from???? “Basic principles. There are none.”

_________________________________________________________________________ 
 
Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005, try and identify which song or which artist.” “This place is so empty, my thoughts are so tempting”?    

ANSWER: Sum 41! “Pieces” is a song off of Sum 41’s album “Chuck”.   

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2005 try and identify which song or which artist.” “Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends”

_________________________________________________________________________
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is..  

Each of the clues below describe a famous pair (example: Salt & Pepper). Can you name each pair?

1. Jingly sound makers & accompanying sounds heard on the Seven Dwarfs commute
2. Corny phrase used by photographers & thin crisp wafers
3. Small spherical play toy & a letter propagated to many people threatening bad luck unless forwarded
4. Mayberry’s deputy sheriff & hollow round percussion instrument
5. A cheery, cheerful or joyous disposition & a unit of company stock
6. Long slender conifer leaf & message board continuous chain of postings
7. Kevin of “Six Degrees” trivia fame & chicken predecessors
8. Writing implement loaded with ink & bank employee that receives or pays out money
9. A paste made from ground goober peas & sweet spread prepared from Concord Grapes 

ANSWER: 1. Bells & Whistles, 2. Cheese & Crackers, 3. Ball & Chain, 4. Fife & Drum, 5. Sonny & Cher
6. Needle & Thread, 7. Bacon & Eggs, 8. Penn & Teller, 9. Peanut Butter & Jelly 

Friday’s Quizzler is… 

Each sentence has a different dog breed hidden in it. Can you find them all?

1. Always be a gleeful person to those around you.

2. He did trap ugly creatures in the net.

3. Joe ate the ham as Tiffany dished up dinner.

4. Angela got to the city early to do some shopping.

5. She tried to whip petticoats up in time for the performance.

6. They looked at the spruce sky and wondered where it came from.  

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD FOR THURSDAY GOS TO MS. KIM HILLYARD, SWEETJAZZ5 AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB LADIES!

=========================================================
Answers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com.  YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT:  www.slampi.org.  ww.hopeBUILD.org. www.Eucmaninc.net. www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com.  www.newnorthsideconferencecenter.net., www.schoons.com., www.awj-law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/., http://cleancomedyguy.com/   http://www.simplycake.biz/