WELCOME to Friday, January 14, 2010.The Woman’s Compact Instruction book..

Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.

Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.

Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

So many men – so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

If they can put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all there.

Tell him you’re not his type – you have a pulse.

Never let your man’s mind wander – its too little to be left out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway.

Never marry a man for money. You’ll have to earn every penny.

Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him check books.

Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn’t even have bothered to have lunch with.

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

When he asks you if he’s your first tell him, “You may be, you look familiar.”

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Friday and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here!

q u o t e s  o f  t h e  d a y

“TLC is coming out with a new show called ‘Extreme Couponing.’ But it takes so long that all the other shows behind it are asking to open up another channel.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A company created a bathroom scale that allows you to tweet your weight to your friends. The company immediately went out of business.” -Conan O’Brien

“NASA released photos of a mysterious green blob floating out in space. Either that or someone sneezed on the tele-
scope.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

The French will eat almost anything. A young cook decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city. He searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits. None could be found. Finally, an old priest at the cathedral said he could have a small area behind the rectory for his rabbits. He successfully raised a number of them, and when he went about Paris selling them, a restaurant owner asked him where he got such fresh rabbits. The young man replied, “I raise them myself, near the cathedral. In fact, I have … a hutch back of Notre Dame.
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?‘If you shoot this man, you die next. Repeat. If you shoot this man, you die next.’

Answer: Reservoir Dogs!

Spoken by Mr. White, played by Harvey Keitel. Harvey Keitel’s wife was teaching an acting class and came across the script.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘Girls who glide need guys who make them thump.’
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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “Never mind what haters say, ignore them ’til they fade away. Amazing they ungrateful after all the game I gave away. Safe to say I paved the way, for you cats to get paid today. You still be wasting days away now had I never saved the day. Consider them my protégé, homage I think they should pay. Instead of being gracious, they violate in a major way.I never been a hater still I love them, in a crazy way.”

Answer:”Live Your Life” – T.I. feat Rihanna

The beginning of the song was taken from O-Zone’s “Numa Numa” (known by that name in the U.S.) “Live Your Life” originally had Rhianna having her own verse and the beginning was a dedication for the solders in Iraq. This song was first aired on September 10, 2008.  

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2000-2002 try and identify which song or which artist.“Someone told me love could always save us…but how can that be? Look what love gave us.”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is..

Each group of words below is a commonly known phrase. Try to guess what that phrase is.

1.The total entity of substances which exhibit a reflection of light particles in awesome profusion are not necessarily composed of a soft, yellow metallic substance.

2. A couple offers possibility of camaraderie, while trebly aggregates often have the appearances of a multitude.

3. A member of the class of Aves that energizes rapidly from a state of nocturnal hibernation is able to seize by force or stratagem the lumbrious terristris.

4. Homosapiens who inhabit abodes composed of pellucid substances containing silicon materials should be prudent of casting hard cobbles.

ANSWER:1. All that glitters is not gold.
2. Two’s company, three’s a crowd.
3. The early bird gets the worm.
4. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Friday’s Quizzler is…

Can you decipher the following common phrase?

T M C
A U O
H S M
W T E

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5, AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS BRILLIANT SOLVING JAZZ AND BANKS!

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