WELCOME to Thursday, January 13, 2010. Old Age….

OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expire

OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over

OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six

OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away

OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged

OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties

OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull

OLD DIETERS never die, they just waist away

OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time

OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop

OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board

OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring

OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience

OLD EDITORS do it with a red pen

OLD ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die, they just have slower rise times

Hey I’m just saying! Have a great Thursday and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here!

Steven Wright…….

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

How young can you die of old age?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

On the other hand… You have different fingers.

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

Women… Can’t live with ’em… Can’t shoot ’em.

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser’s owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was gesturing annoyingly at Trouser’s masters. This strange person spoke not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on his masters’ faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this annoying pseudo clown’s leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue all over the ground in an effort to remove the man’s foul essence from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that …. a mime is a terrible thing to taste.
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?’It’s like in a Hitchcock movie, you know, where they tie you up in a rubber bag and throw you in the trunk. You find people.’

Answer: Waiting for Guffman! The only scenes that were actually scripted for this movie were the ‘Red White and Blaine’ scenes – everything else was ad-libbed by the actors.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???? ‘If you shoot this man, you die next. Repeat. If you shoot this man, you die next.’
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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008, try and identify which song or which artist.” “So many people gonna say that they want you, To try to get you thinking they really care, But there’s nothing like the warmth of the one who has put in the time and you know he’s gonna be there, Back your border when she knows someone crossed it, Don’t let nobody put you down, who you’re with Take the pain of protecting your name, from the crutch to the cane to the high wire”

Answer: “In Love with a Girl” – Gavin Degraw! “That Girl” came out in 2006 by Frankie J and Chamillionaire & Mannie Fresh. This song is rock so “I Love Your Girl” isn’t it because that song is R&B. “In Love with a Girl” came out in February 12, 2008.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2008 try and identify which song or which artist. “Never mind what haters say, ignore them ’til they fade away. Amazing they ungrateful after all the game I gave away. Safe to say I paved the way, for you cats to get paid today. You still be wasting days away now had I never saved the day. Consider them my protégé, homage I think they should pay. Instead of being gracious, they violate in a major way.I never been a hater still I love them, in a crazy way.”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..

The following clues lead to two words or phrases that are the phonetic reverse of each other. When you answer the first clue and flip the syllables, you get the second answer. (Phonetic only, not letters.)Using the clues below, please find the words/phrases in question.

Example: Impertinent * Teetertotter Answer: Saucy/Seesaw

1. Fundamental * Where the doctor works on a naval ship
2. Government assistance for the poor * Goodbye
3. Worst possible Test Score * Optimistic
4. Relevant * What Jesus was born in
5. Sofa * Cups, saucers, sugar bowl, etc. (2 words)

ANSWER: 1. Basic / Sick Bay, 2. Welfare / Farewell, 3. Zero / Rosy
4. Germane / Manger, 5. Settee / Tea Set

Thursday’s Quizzler is…

Each group of words below is a commonly known phrase. Try to guess what that phrase is.

1.The total entity of substances which exhibit a reflection of light particles in awesome profusion are not necessarily composed of a soft, yellow metallic substance.

2. A couple offers possibility of camaraderie, while trebly aggregates often have the appearances of a multitude.

3. A member of the class of Aves that energizes rapidly from a state of nocturnal hibernation is able to seize by force or stratagem the lumbrious terristris.

4. Homosapiens who inhabit abodes composed of pellucid substances containing silicon materials should be prudent of casting hard cobbles.

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO SWEETJAZZ5, AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS BRILLIANT SOLVING JAZZ AND BANKS!

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Answers in FRIDAY Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/