WELCOME to Monday, May 23, 2011. The End of the World!

Well  guess I missed the end of the world this past Saturday! Lets see what was I doing?? Played 9 holes of golf, hung out with some old friends, spent some time with my daughter, talked to the wife and finally got on the computer! Oh yea I forgot, I watched a couple of good movies! I really have to apologise, I forgot that the world was going to end. I suppose I should have fretted or even acted concerned, but I didn’t see anybody looking crazed or concerned. Hey I didn’t even see those guys out with the “The World is Ending TODAY” signs.  Oh well, maybe I’ll catch it next time, kinda like Arnold saying “I’ll Be Back”, only this time I don’t think Arnold will be saying I’ll be back exspecially after his wife gets done with him and I don’t think the world will ending anytime soon, perhaps we’ll just reschedule the day! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have an incredible Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find
three wise men and a virgin.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now
average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.

McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten
them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says
he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What’s the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he’s got your gun too!

According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take “a harder stance” on the death penalty. What’s a harder stance on the death penalty? We’re already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair.

A New York company has made a video game that re-enacts John Kerry’s war career. Players pretend they’re Kerry, on a swift boat in Vietnam. Wasn’t there already some game based on John Kerry’s life? Oh, yeah, “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?”

This year there are 50 women on the Forbes richest list, or as John Kerry calls that, his little black book.
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their
first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time. Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be unor confusing. So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting. This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to
those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Babies smell!’ Answer: Jurassic Park. Alan, explaining why he doesn’t want children.

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Tootie, remind me to
spank you right after dinner.”All right, Papa.’

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “What’s up, tell me what to do, how to be, teach me, all you want from A to Z, but I don’t want your other girl to see that you’re messing ’round with me.” Answer: Willa Ford. This 2001 hit, “I Wanna Be Bad,” is Willa Ford’s only single so far. In 2002 she worked for MTV as a veejay.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Boy you know you make me float, boy you really get me high; feel like I’m on dope, cause you set me on a record high.”

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Friday’s Quizzler is..

In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables (in which each may only be used once) which you must use to figure out the 9 words.

Syllable List – a, a, a, al, don, en, graph, ic, ka, keet, lel, ly, med, ses, the, tial, ty
Syllable-starter: par
How many syllables, each word has:
1. (2)
2. (2)
3. (2)
4. (3)
5. (3)
6. (3)
7. (3)
8. (4)
9. (4)

Answer: 1. Parka (par ka), 2. Pardon (par don), 3. Party (par ty), 4. Paragraph (par a graph)
5. Parallel (par al lel), 6. Parakeet (par a keet), 7. Partially (par tial ly), 8. Parentheses (par en the ses)
9. Paramedic (par a med ic)

Monday’s Quizzler is…

Can you decipher these common Christmas Carols?

1. Happiness to the Global Ecosystem
2. Small male percussionist
3. I am experiencing nocturnal visions of a colorless holiday
4. Festoon the Corridors
5. A Non-summer fairytale area
6. Oh holiday conifer
7. Ten plus two twenty-four hour periods of holiday festivity
8. Hey tiny city in Israel
9. In a remote location in a barn stall

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Answers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/