Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there were two evil friars living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in their floral shop, come up with a plant that would devour the townspeople one by one until none were left. They set forth to put their plan into action by planting the man-eating
plants so they encircled the village.  As the plants rapidly grew, they began devouring everything living in their path. The townspeople grew frightened; who or what would save them from their eminent doom? Finally, the town’s elder remember Hugh, a woodcutter who lived on the outskirts of town. Frantically, the townspeople penned a desperate plea
for help, tied it to the leg of a pigeon, and directed the bird toward Hugh’s cabin.  Meanwhile, outside of town, Hugh had received the note from the townspeople, and
realizing they were in grave danger, set forth to do what he needed to do. He honed his mightiest axe to razor-sharpness, grabbed his hat, and off he went.

Chopping his way through the dense vines, he single-handedly destroyed the carnivorous plants one by one, until all were destroyed. Then he set out to rid the village of the evil friars, chasing them out of town. The town was saved!!! The people rejoiced and knighted Hugh for his brave and timely efforts to save the village!!!  And the moral of the story is:
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetcha child of five. Groucho Marx

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. Yogi Berra

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green
bananas.” Claude Pepper

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby

All men are equal before fish. Herbert Hoover

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Casey Stengel

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. Bill Cosby

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. Hedy Lamarr

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout “PRAISE THE LORD!” Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!!” Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted “PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME.  PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!” The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD.” The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, “Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn’t.” The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, “PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘You’re very lucky – with Fraulein Helga it was a snake.’ Answer: The Sound of Music. The housekeeper to Maria, after the children put a frog in her pocket.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘What do you know – they’re little footballs!’

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Can we forget about the things I said
when I was drunk, I didn’t mean to call you that.” Answer: Lit. From the song “My Own Worst Enemy”.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Lately he’s been checking for me,
telling me how much he wants to be, wants to be the one to replace, replace the man who waits at home for me.”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is..

Who can’t live without Spell Check in their email or word software? It’s a great tool…Unless you are poor Paula Abdul who transforms into “Pail Abut” when
the Spell Checker has at her. The following Music Stars have been Spell Checked and are ready for you to uncover their true identities.
1. Keen Chimney, 2. Bayonet Knowledge, 3. Retching Wilson, 4. Jousting Tumblers
5. Went Steamy, 6. Madden, 7. Tubby Kith, 8. Pariah Curry, 9. Rebel Mentioned
10. Cozy About

Answer: 1. Kenny Chesney, 2. Beyonce Knowles, 3. Gretchen Wilson, 4. Justin
Timberlake, 5. Gwen Stefani
6. Madonna, 7. Toby Keith, 8. Mariah Carey, 9. Reba McEntire, 10. Ozzy Osbourne

Thursday’s Quizzler is…

You are a prisoner sentenced to death. The Emperor offers you a chance to live by playing a simple game. He gives you 50 black marbles, 50 white marbles and 2 empty bowls. He then says, “Divide these 100 marbles into these 2 bowls. You can divide them any way you like as long as you use all the marbles. Then I will blindfold you and mix the bowls around. You then can choose one bowl and remove ONE marble. If the marble is WHITE you will live, but if the marble is BLACK… you will die.” How do you divide
the marbles up so that you have the greatest probability of choosing a WHITE marble?You are a prisoner sentenced to death. The Emperor offers you a chance to live by playing a simple game. He gives you 50 black marbles, 50 white marbles and 2 empty bowls. He then says, “Divide these 100 marbles into these 2 bowls. You can divide them any way
you like as long as you use all the marbles. Then I will blindfold you and mix the bowls around. You then can choose one bowl and remove ONE marble. If the marble is WHITE you will live, but if the marble is BLACK… you will die.”

How do you divide the marbles up so that you have the greatest probability of choosing a WHITE marble?You are a prisoner sentenced to death. The Emperor
offers you a chance to live by playing a simple game. He gives you 50 black marbles, 50 white marbles and 2 empty bowls. He then says, “Divide these 100 marbles into these 2 bowls. You can divide them any way you like as long as you use all the marbles. Then I will blindfold you and mix the bowls around.  You then can choose one bowl and remove ONE marble. If the marble is WHITE you will live, but if the marble is BLACK… you will die.”

How do you divide the marbles up so that you have the greatest probability of choosing a WHITE marble?

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Answers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to
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