WELCOME to Thursday, September 8, 2011.   Murphy’s Laws of Martial Arts……..

Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts:

The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn
into Bruce Lee when you’re up against him.

The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.

The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick.

The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.

If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker’s father will be a lawyer.

After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.

After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.

In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.

No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it’s your turn.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they
send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. — Dick Martin

I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate
middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a
group grope. — Tynan

I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got.

I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to
return the unused part for my full refund.

I’ve been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about
‘short’ and ‘cheap’? — Phyllis Diller

I’ve been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years.

If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?

If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. — Chekhov

If you never want to see a man again, say, “I love you, I want to marry
you, I want to have children…” – they leave skid marks. — Rita Rudner
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine–except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour!

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you
answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Nobody understands cricket, you have to know what a crumpet is to
understand cricket.’ Answer:’Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’. Raphael said this after Casey Jones
pulled out a cricket stick, just before Casey nailed him with it.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from?? ‘She’s Alora
Dannon, the future empress of Tiras Leen and the last thing she’s going to want is a hairy chest!’

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Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from
90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Do you wanna get dirty? Get fired up in
a hurry? Answer: This is from “Dirrty.” Christina A.

Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from
90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Her name is Nona, she’s a rocker with a nose ring.”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

Each of the sentences below use two words which are synonyms of each other, but here in these
sentences, they are not used with the same meaning. Can you find the words ?

1. Every time my family ______ junk food, it ______ me with guilt.
2. It is my ______ that I leave all my earthly possessions to charity in my _____.
3. He ______ that if his brother ______ him well on his birthday, it would mean he was forgiven.
4. It is said that even the ugliest ______ will ______ about its offspring! Such is the love of a parent!
5. He came up to the counter and said, “I would ______ a cinnamon roll, ______.”

Answer: 1. Every time my family EATS junk food, it CONSUMES me with guilt.
2. It is my DESIRE that I leave all my earthly possessions to charity in my WILL.
3. He HOPED that if his brother WISHED him well on his birthday, it would mean he was forgiven.
4. It is said that even the ugliest CROW will BRAG about its offspring! Such is the love of a parent!
5. He came up to the counter and said, “I would LIKE a cinnamon roll, PLEASE.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is…

Can you decipher this phrase:

O_er_t_o_

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Answers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to
receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @ eucstraman@hotmail.com. YOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE EUCMAN’S DAILY BLOG ONLINE@ https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/