WELCOME to Wednesday, September 7, 2011.   Dictionary…….

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up,
but, he, “made the dinner.”
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.”
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say “focus,…breath…push…”
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear…!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck.” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a car

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good,

and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad. Arnold H. Glasgow

Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the
middle we became the best of friends. Author Unknown

A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.
Donna Roberts

Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things. Author Unknown

Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but
are always perfect for you. Author Unknown

If you’re alone, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll be your
shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I’ll
be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I’ll just be me. Author Unknown

A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. Grace Pulpit

There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship.
Author Unknown

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying
a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you’ve had.
Author Unknown
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. “Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck.”  “Oh, he didn’t kill himself,” Mr. Haroldson replied. “I hung him up to dry.”

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘He treats objects as women, man!’ Answer: ‘The Big Lebowski’. A very dishevelled Dude trying to  talk his way out of an arrest.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Nobody
understands cricket, you have to know what a crumpet is to understand cricket.’

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Bet I’ll have you naked by the end of
this song.” Answer: Justin Timberlake. This song is “Rock Your Body.”

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 90s -2002, try and identify which song or which artist. “Do you wanna get dirty? Get fired up in
a hurry?

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is….

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring,
wing.
1a) a military rank, 1b) a landed estate, 1c) an elected official
2a) to turn upside down, 2b) to cover completely, 2c) to create for the first time
3a) a sticky substance, 3b) jewel, 3c) slang for “leg”
4a) to abuse verbally, 4b) to make a new version, 4c) to restore to life

Answer: 1) major, manor, mayor, 2) invert, invest, invent, 3) gum, gem, gam, 4) revile, revise, revive

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…

Each of the sentences below use two words which are synonyms of each other, but here in these sentences, they are not used with the same meaning. Can you find the words ?
1. Every time my family ______ junk food, it ______ me with guilt.
2. It is my ______ that I leave all my earthly possessions to charity in my _____.
3. He ______ that if his brother ______ him well on his birthday, it would mean he was forgiven.
4. It is said that even the ugliest ______ will ______ about its offspring! Such is the love of a parent!
5. He came up to the counter and said, “I would ______ a cinnamon roll,
______.______________________________________________________________

Answers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to
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