WELCOME to Monday, September 19, 2011.   Marriage Quotes……

My other wife is beautiful.

My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it.

My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.

My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!

My wife says if I go fishing one more time she’s going to leave me. Gosh, I’m going to miss her.

My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. — PJ O’Rourke

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. — Honore de Balzac

Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! — Al Bundy

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a warm Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y things like…love!”

he time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” Rodney Dangerfield
“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,” Calvin.
 

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man….I could be eating a slow learner.”

“He’s so optimistic he’d buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.”

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s

This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven’t seen listed in any cookbooks. While you are preparing the food, and after the guests have arrived, you contrive to fill the house up with smoke, preferably enough to get at least two smoke detectors going.  Then you go rushing about the house, opening all the windows, setting up fans, and generally doing everything short of calling the fire department.  Let the guests sit for about 1/2 hour at 50 degrees (as a result of opening the windows) and serve the food.  By this point, you have established expectations in your guests’ minds that you can’t fail to exceed

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???You have a TV?’ ‘No, I just like to read the TV guide. You read the TV guide you don’t need a TV.’ Answer: ‘The Lost Boys’A nice retort from the very eccentric grandfather. 

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘It just so happens, I am a lawyer.’ ‘Kill the lawyer!’

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Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “You can see my heart beating, and you can see it through my hands. That I’m terrified but I’m not leaving.” Answer: Russian Roulette.  Rihanna’s 2009 single, “Russian Roulette” reached number seven on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart. The album, “Rated R” sold well, earning Platinum records in the US, UK and Europe.

Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “She’s got both hands. In her pockets. And she won’t look at you, won’t look at you won’t.”

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