WELCOME to Wednesday, September 28, 2011. Signs That You Might Need A New Lawyer    
* During the trial, you catch him playing Angry Birds.
* Every couple of minutes he yells, “I call Jack Daniel’s to the stand!” and proceeds to drink a shot.
* He places a large “No Refunds” sign on the defense table.
* Just before trial starts he whispers, “The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?”
* Just before he says “Your Honor,” he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
* The sign in front of his law office reads “Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM.”
* Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, “Whatever.”
* He giggles every time he hears the word “briefs.”
* Giggles hysterically at the mere mention of the Penal Code.
* Constantly raising objections to the “vibes” he’s getting from the jury.
* Every time the judge sustains one of his objections, he screams, “Yahtzee!”
* Offers to waive his usual fees in exchange for your panties.
* You met him in prison.
* He tells you that his last good case was Scotch.
* When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
* He picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.”
* He asks a hostile witness to “pull my finger.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“I once said cynically of a politician, ‘He’ll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'”
– Oscar Levant

“There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income.”
– Edmund Wilson

“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.”
– Sir Winston Churchill

G u a r a n t e e d  t o  R o l l  Y o u r  E y e s

All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.

One guy asked, “If our chute doesn’t open, and the reserve doesn’t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?”

Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, “The rest of your life.”

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge…” Answer: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  Johnny Deep cranked out this line toward one of the ends of one of his many massive speeches in this Terry Gilliam masterpiece.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Have you paid your dues Jack?…Yes sir the check is in the mail.’

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Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?Answer:

“Complicated” is by Avril Lavigne. 

Wednesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “It’s been so long and I’m lost without you”

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