WELCOME to Friday January 13,  2012.  Differences between men and women….
1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.
4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
7. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
8. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
9. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
10. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.    That’s my story and I’m sticking too it!  Have a    great Friday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 

 QUOTES OF THE DAY….

“A federal watchdog agency says that overlapping and duplicate programs waste billions of dollars each year. Congress is taking this study so seriously that they’re ordering a second study to look into it.” -Jay Leno

“Everyone is talking about the voice-control TV. It’s TV that you control with your voice instead of the back-breaking work of pressing buttons on the remote.” -Craig Ferguson

“A new study found that kids who work more than 20 hours a week at a job are more likely to get bad grades. On the other hand, China.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D  T O  M A K E  Y O U  L A F F….
There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn’t get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.  He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with her and get it on with the new girl.

He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing: “I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone”                                  _______________________________________________________________________

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “A bigger dressing room than the puppets? That’s refreshing.”Answer: This Is Spinal Tap. Rob Reiner’s hilarious tale of English Heavy Metal legends ‘Spinal Tap’ on tour in America. Reiner’s portrayal of film-maker Marty Di Bergi was allegedly based on Martin, who directed and appeared in ‘The Last Waltz’, a documentary about the farewell performance of ‘The Band’.

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??‘You’re a handsome devil. What’s your name?’

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Thursday’s Crazy Song Definitions, this quiz features popular songs from 2008/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “I’m so sick of the tension, sick of the hunger, sick of you acting like I owe you this.” Answer: “A Place For My Head” This song is by Linkin Park, a very talented group of young rockers. They have continued to produce hit after hit. “Crawling” and “In The End” are just two of their many hits. Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “There was a time when he tried to be the one who would give you all you deserve, but now he’s not trying.”

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Thursday’s Quizzler is………. Inspector Ixolite of the Yard was investigating a murder at Nottonmye Manor. It was a difficult case, and Ixolite was completely stumped until he noticed a message sent to him by the killer cunningly hidden in a newspaper advertisement selling Car Licence Plates. Inspector Ixolite thought about it for a while, and when he had solved the puzzle, immediately arrested the guilty man. Q1) How did Ixolite know the advert was a clue for him? Q2) Solve the code and tell me who Ixolite arrested. This is the newspaper advert (Car licence plates for sale) that Inspector Ixolite saw.  Plates For Sale;  [W 05 NWO]  [H 13 HSR ]  [O 05 EBM]  [D 08 UNE]  [U 10 HTY]  [N 04 BRE]  [N 16 TTE] [I 26 LHC ]  [T 10 AEE]  [I 26 CNA]  [X 22 VDA] Answer: 1)The first bit is easy, as the first letter of each plate spells WHODUNNIT IX (A challenge to our Inspector.)  2)The second bit is a little trickier, but I gave you the solution. If you read the last three letters in each plate from the bottom up and right to left you get ADVANCE EACH LETTER BY THE NUMBER SHOWN, so advance W by 5 to get B, H by 13 to get U and so on until you spell BUTLER DID IT.

Friday’s Quizzlers is………. A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words.  The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart).  There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats).  Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) spoiled Neanderthal child & courageous cougar 2) child of a sorceress & liquid in a trench 3) milk and cheese & fops who are imaginary beings with magical powers 4) fondle feathers & Amsterdam

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