WELCOME to Tuesday, January 10, 2012. Stupid People Awards…… The nominees are:
NOMINEE No.1: [San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
NOMINEE No.2 [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, of Alamo,Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what. police described as a “farm-type truck.” Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Bums hung underneath so that he could asthe source of a troubling noise. Burns’ clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns “wrapped in the drive shaft.”
NOMINEE No.3 [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C., when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson. 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
NOMINEE No.4 [UIPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto Skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building’s windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was “one of the best and brightest” members of the 200-man association.
NOMINEE No.5 [Bloomburg News Service] A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage(and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn’t have been fatal. But the man was shut, up in his, near airtight bedroom. According to the article, “He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating “this deadly gas.” Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a greatTuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY….
“A recent study found that cheese is healthier to eat than butter. In response, Americans were like, Just to be safe, I better eat both.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Near Antarctica, scientists just discovered some new undersea creatures. I believe this deep sea discovery is yet more evidence of the wonderful bio-diversity in our oceans that we have to clear out if we’re going to get at that tasty crude oil.” -Craig Ferguson
“According to new poll done by 60 minutes 2 percent of voters believe that Mitt Romney’s real first name is Mittens.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The other day I was eating in an Italian restaurant when I accidentally spilled some spaghetti sauce on my favorite white sweater. I wasn’t too distressed, though, because Mr. Wong down on High Street has been doing my laundry for years, and I knew that he could remove just about any stain and get it out like it’d never been there. So I took the sweater down to Wong’s Laundry and dropped it off; Mr. Wong said he’d probably be able to have it cleaned by Thursday. So on Thursday afternoon after work I stopped by Wong’s again. Mr. Wong looked quite distressed when he saw me. He brought out the sweater and, apologizing profusely, explained that somehow this stain was beyond even his power to expunge. And sure enough, though fainter than before, there was still a distinct red stain on the sweater. In an attempt to make up for his failure, Mr. Wong offered to send the sweater to his brother across town, who had been in the laundry business for an even longer time, and who might have a clue as to the method of removal of this extraordinarily persistent stain. The elder Wong brother would rush it through at no extra charge, and should have it looking as white and clean as new by Friday. So on Friday I went back to Wong’s to pick up my sweater, but when I arrived, Mr. Wong regretfully informed me that his brother, too, had failed to remove the red blotch. “No charge,” said Wong, “but you must take sweater elsewhere to clean. The Moral: … Two Wongs cannot make a white.”
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? “I’m a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum!” Answer: Withnail And I. Richard E. Grant and Paul McGann play two down on their luck actors who flee ’60’s London for a disastrous holiday in the country. Grant, whose outburst this is, plays the permanently boozed-up Withnail. In reality, the Swaziland born actor is allergic to alcohol.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??“Leave nothing left for him to marry, nothing but the skin over my bones.” _______________________________________________________________________________
Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, this quiz features popular songs from 2008/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Word back home was that you had a special friend.”Answer: “Song Cry” This song, “This Life I Lead”, is by Jay-Z. Jay-Z has been rapping since the early 1990’s and has had many hits.
Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist.“When love hurts, it won’t work.”
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Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
HLIBNMT
The World According to the Eucman! 