WELCOME to Tuesday January 17,  2012.  Ponderings for Tuesday….

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?

I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver’s side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.

After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?

This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulence or a firetruck.

I went out today and bought everything I’ve been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.

The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.

I really feel sorry for Madonna’s baby, having to grow without a last name.

Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?

The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.                       

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it!  Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 

QUOTES OF THE DAY…. 

“Listen to this. The New York Times is now reporting it’s possible to catch the flu from money. They say the virus can live on a $20 bill for more than 10 days. So, not only is the virus contagious, it’s also very frugal.” –Jay Leno

“A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don’t drink at all. At least, that’s what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A seventh grade teacher in California was arrested for teaching while drunk. Which is why an entire Earth Science class now thinks hurricanes are formed when rum collides with lime juice, passion fruit, and crushed ice in a hot pink souvenir cup from Senor Frog’s.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D  T O  M A K E  Y O U  L A F F….
My 10-year-old daughter has decided she is an environmentalist. So she talked me into participating in an aggressive recycling effort with her. Last week she and I took what proved to be 134 pounds of cardboard boxes to the recycling center and earned $1.34. Counting gas and ice cream, we turned a profit of -$7.85. We’re going to use generally accepted accounting principles and see if we can apply this amount to our taxable income.                                  ________________________________________________________________________________

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???‘You’re a handsome devil. What’s your name?’Answer: Grosse Pointe Blank. John Cusack is a great actor. This is one of his best performances as a hitman who gets bored with his occupation.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘What am I supposed to do; think of everything? I brought the comb.’ ____________________________________________________________________

Friday’s Crazy Song Definitions, this quiz features popular songs from 2008/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “There was a time when he tried to be the one who would give you all you deserve, but now he’s not trying.” Answer: “I Should Be Your Boyfriend” This song is by Dru Hill. They have taken a break fron the music scene and returned with a number one hit and a new member.

Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 2009/2010, try and identify which song or which artist.  “I feel pain, please come back to me.” __________________________________________________________________ 

Friday’s Quizzler is………. A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words.  The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart).  There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats).  Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms? 1) spoiled Neanderthal child & courageous cougar 2) child of a sorceress & liquid in a trench 3) milk and cheese & fops who are imaginary beings with magical powers 4) fondle feathers & Amsterdam
Answer:  1) cave brat & brave cat, 2) witch daughter & ditch water, 3) dairy foods & fairy dudes, 4) touch down & Dutch town 

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is………. The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. Try to find all four. Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots) 1. Revert to the first quadrilateral of equal sides and angles. 2. One suffering from Macular Degeneration guiding one with less than 1/10 of normal vision. 3. Restrain your multiple Equus caballus. 4. The writing utensil containing small amounts of ink is more puissant than the iron hand-held weapon.

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!