WELCOME to Friday January 27, 2012.   Deep Thoughts……
It’s not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it on and really scare you.

I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what’s wrong with little bits of cheese? They probably break down into their various gases before they even hit.

If you’re a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don’t think it’s a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, “Forgive me, but that’s just too much.”

Here’s a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go “Whoa! Whoa!” and flail your arms around, like you’re going to fall in.

If you ever discover that what you’re seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and hold on for the ride of your life.

It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running to go fight in another fight, away from the first fight.

What is it that makes a compete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we’ll never know.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“There’s a new app that lets you post a message on Facebook after you die. Now you can finish off that message you were typing right before you got into the head-on collision.” -Jay Leno

“I make my choice for president based on how well each candidate would handle an alien invasion.” Jimmy Kimmel

“Here in California, some Starbucks stores have begun selling beer and wine. When asked why, a spokesperson for Starbucks said, ‘Because sober people don’t buy Michael Buble CDs.'” -Conan O’Brien

GU A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Freelance newspaper writers don’t get nearly as much attention as writers with regular bylines. So I was delighted when I finally got some notice. It was at the bank, and I was depositing a stack of checks.  “Wow,” said the teller, reading off the names of publishers from the tops of the checks. “You must deliver a lot of papers.” _________________________________________________________________________________________

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘I want you to hit me as hard as you can.’  Answer: Fight Club. This is when Tyler (Brad Pitt) and the narrator (Edward Norton) are outside the bar, and also where fight club really starts.

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Now she’s gonna cry, then I’m gonna cry, then we’re all gonna cry.’

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Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

Removing an appendix is called an appendectomy, removing tonsils is called a tonsillectomy.

What is it called when they remove a growth from your head? Answer: A haircut

Friday’s Quizzlers is……….

Given below are five pairs of words. Each pair sounds similar, but have different meanings (they are homonyms). Can you find them?
Lift high – Bring down, destroy Plant with ears – Labyrinth Burial/Cremation formalities – Uses a pen and paper and forms legible words To communicate with God – Carnivore’s target Watery part of milk that separates when milk turns to curds – The route or the course traveled from one place to another

___________________________________________________________________________________________ Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/