WELCOME to Thursday February 2, 2012.   Students Today…….. 

We all fail sometimes. But there’s something about failing with style. Here are some of the best test paper blunders from the most clueless – and inventive – of students.

* Classical Studies *  Question: Name one of the early Romans’ greatest achievements. Answer: Learning to speak Latin

* Biology * Question: What is a fibula? Answer: A little lie

* Classical Studies *  Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar’s death? Answer: Suspicious ones

* Biology * Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease Answer: Early death

* Biology * Question: What is a plasmid? Answer: A high definition television

* Religious Studies * Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called? Answer: Monotony

* Physics * Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels. Answer: Fire

* Geography * Question: What does the term “lava” mean? Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar

* Geography * Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country? Answer: Malaria

* Geography * Question: Name one famous Greek landmark Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse

* History * Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed? Answer: At the bottom.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY 

Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object; unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a perpetualsuccession of miracles rising into view. ~Joseph Addison

I have never met anyone who wanted to save the world without my financial support. ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

There are men whom you will never dislodge from an opinion, except by taking possession of it yourself. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he’s talking about. ~Sam Ewing

I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror.  ~Elaine Dundy

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.  ~Dave Barry

It’s annoying to be disapproved of by people who know only half the story -especially when you’re not sure which half they know. ~Robert Brault,www.robertbrault.com

GU A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was  entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that  when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced  during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians  and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had  become a real night mare. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Did you hear that?’ Answer: Star Wars

Good old C3PO said this when the Star Destroyer  chasing them shot down the main reactor.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Now is the winter of our discontent.’

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Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

In each sentence below, the name of a fruit is hidden. Each of these fruits end with the word ‘berry’. You won’t find the word ‘berry’ itself hidden there of course, but try to find the missing part of each fruit to give it its full name.
1. He looked blue in the face from too much exposure to the freezing cold outside. 2. Boys, enter at your own risk! 3. We have a beautiful farm out in the countryside and we own a few goats, duck and one goose. 4. She got cranky when people pointed out her mistake. 5. The children are scared of his raspy voice, and stay well away from his house. 6. After a hard day’s work at the farm, the horse gratefully collapsed on the straw heap. 7. Too late! The cake had turned into a black charred mass because everyone forgot about it! 

ANSWER: 1. He looked BLUE in the face from too much exposure to the freezing cold outside. – Blueberry 2. BOYS, ENter at your own risk! – Boysenberry 3. We have a beautiful farm out in the countryside and we own a few goats, duck and one GOOSE. – Gooseberry 4. She got CRANky when people pointed out her mistake. – Cranberry 5. The children are scared of his RASPy voice, and stay well away from his house. – Raspberry 6. After a hard day’s work at the farm, the horse gratefully collapsed on the STRAW heap. – Strawberry 7. Too late! The cake had turned into a BLACK charred mass because everyone forgot about  it! – Blackberry
Enjoy your berry feast!

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……....

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have the initial sounds switched to form new words.  For example, “churning bear” is a spoonerism for “burning chair” (note that the pairs do not have to be spelled the same – only sound the same). From the definitions below, can you figure out the spoonerism pairs?
1.  Thumper’s cellphone…mis-named nerve. 2.  Where to buy a mallard…jammed portal. 3.  Grizzly relative…two pin-lovers. 4.  Sad iguana…Merlin slam-dunking. 5.  Wasp accelerates…Half a six-pack.

 

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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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