WELCOME to Thursday February 9, 2012.   For those who Take Life Too Seriously…

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set 2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

20. I intend to live forever – so far so good.

21. Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back.

22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

23. My mind is like a steel trap – rusty and illegal in 37 states.

24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

26. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

27. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

28. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

30. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a wonderful Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY

Age–that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit. – Ambrose Bierce

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain. – Chinese Proverb

I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate. – Nancy Astor

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. To make the task less onerous, he invited several of his co-workers to share the ride. He soon found, however, that the commute continued to get more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor. “Doc,” the frustrated commuter complained, “I’m fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week long. But when I get in the tunnels and I’ve got those four other guys crowded around me in the car, I get anxious and dizzy and feel like I’m going to explode.” Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had identified the ailment.   “What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?” “No, no, no, my boy. You have something very common in these parts.” “Tell me! What is it?” “You have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.”

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Neighbors heard them screaming at each other like for two hours, it was nothing new. Then they heard the gun go off.’  Answer: Seven. This is said by a police officer who is  explaining a crime scene to detective Summerset.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘So sorry, forgot to knock.’

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. What is this below? 1) Take a pinch of D 2) Stir in a pint of I 3) Weigh in 5oz of S 4) Whisk thoroughly while adding a small grated A 5) Bring to boil and add the S 6) Meanwhile finely dice a large T 7) Sprinkle in a peeled E 8) Finally add R, to taste and then add to the mixture.

ANSWER: A recipe for disaster. The construction of the word DISASTER in the form of a cooking recipe.

Thursday’s Quizzlers is………. I still have 7 more things to put away and time is running out fast.  Next I decide to put away the giant’s board games.
The colors of the board games are blue, brown, green, orange, purple, red, and yellow. 1.  Purple is somewhere to the left of green. 2.  Red is next to blue. 3.  Brown is 3 away from blue (2 between). 4.  Yellow is 2 away from red. 5.  Blue is in the middle. 6.  Orange is directly between yellow and purple.

 

TODAY’S RESIDENT GENIUS AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! BRILLIANT SOLVING BANKS!  ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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