WELCOME to Tuesday January 24, 2012. Why Dogs Don’t Use Computers
- Can’t stick their heads out of Windows ‘7.
- Fetch command not available on all platforms.
- Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
- Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit.
- Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.”
- Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
- Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re browsing http://www.pethouse.com instead of working.
- Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
- Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
- Still trying to come up with an “emoticon” that signifies tail-wagging.
- Oh, but they WILL… with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
- Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
- Cause dogs ain’t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand…
- Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
- SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
- SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
- Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
- Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master’s.leg.
- Too Hard To Type With Paws.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“It’s being reported that a woman took her 5-year-old son along on a bank robbery. Apparently, she told the teller, ‘Give me all your money or I’m leaving my 5-year-old. ‘” -Conan O’Brien
“I want to host the Miss America show next year. I will only ask ridiculous questions like, ‘Miss Tennessee, the hippopotamus is said to be the most dangerous animal in the world. If one got into your hair, how would you kill it?'” -Jimmy Kimmel
“They found an opossum on the subway. Here’s what we know about the opossum. What they do is pretend to play dead so predators will leave them alone. Well, isn’t that everybody on the subway?” -David Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses — one for each year of her life. The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, “She may be your 19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old wife.” The young man bought a dozen roses. _________________________________________________________________________________
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘He’s losing his mind, and I’m reaping all the benefits.’ Answer: The Wedding Singer. Said by Jimmy Moore (Jon Lovitz) after Robbie (Adam Sandler) sings his song about love.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Oh look, David, I’ve lost my heel. Look at me walk. I was born on the side of a hill.’ _____________________________________________________________________________
Monday’s Crazy Song Definitions, this quiz features popular songs from 2008/2010, try and identify which song or which artist. “Maybe I need some rehab, or maybe just need some sleep. I’ve got a sick obsession, I’m seeing it in my dreams.” Answer: Your Love Is My Drug. Kesha is an American singer and her main chart toppers include: “Your Love Is My Drug”, “Tik Tok”, “Take It Off” and “Blah Blah Blah”. Tuesday’s Crazy Song Definitions, This quiz features popular songs from 1990/1994, try and identify which song or which artist. __________________________________________________________________________________ Monday’s Quizzler is………. Solve each clue below. The answers will form a word square. Example of a word square: THE HEN END
1. Small bottle 2. Burdened 3. Worship 4. Tailless waiter 5. Leg joints
Answer: STUN, TORE, URNS, NEST Tuesday’s Quizzlers is………. Can you uncover what each group of three has in common?
1. doughnut, notebook, golf course
2. turtle, peanut, oyster
3. brown, polar, Kodiak
4. cough, tear, rain
5. soap, granola, candy
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES ONCE AGAIN TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman @eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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