WELCOME to Tuesday February 7, 2012. Confucius Says……

War does not determine who’s right. War determine who’s left.

Man who sleeps on road, wakes up feeling run down.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.”

A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.

When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.

Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.

He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing

Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.

Television never replace old reliable key hole.

Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy…

Laziest man in world who marry widow with six children.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.

Man who scratches backside should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Kids are like Legos, lot of fun to make, but sooner or later, only end up messing up house.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY 

“A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The agriculture department says we now have the smallest cattle population in 60 years. That shows you how fat we’re getting. We’re close to putting cows on the endangered species list.” -Jay Leno

“The FDA — the Food and Drug Administration — has set up a new procedure by which

new drugs will be tested and approved in four years. It’s called college.” –Craig Ferguson

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???‘My name’s Turkish, funny name for an English man, I know.’ Answer: SnatchTurkish, from writer and director Guy Richie’s  second film, ‘Snatch’.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??‘My name is Ash, and I am a slave.’

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Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

Answer the following with parts of the body. The first one is free! 1. A strong box (chest) 2. Heard in congress while voting 3. Baby cows 4. A shellfish 5. A unit used to measure distance 6. Scholars 7. Part of a shoe 8. What every builder must have 9. Something made by whips 10. What soldiers carry ANSWER: 2. Eyes and nose [Aye’s and No’s], 3. Calves, 4. Muscle [Mussel], 5. Feet, 6. Pupils 7. Heel [Soul and tongue are also acceptable], 8. Nails, 9. Lashes, 10. Arms

 

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……....

And now for more in the tradition of the Vowel-less Knights:
1.  Mnds r lk prchts – th nl fnctn whn pn. 2.  Bwr f smll xpnss,  smll lk wll snk  grt shp. 3.  Prblms cnnt b slvd t th sm lvl f wrnss tht crtd thm.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________ Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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