Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If at first you don’t succeed,  skydiving is not for you.
The pen is mightier than the sword — if the  sword is very small and the pen is real sharp.
If you throw a cat out a  car window, does it become kitty litter?
Call me insane one more time and  I’ll eat your other eye!
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food  chain to be a vegetarian.
When it rains, why don’t sheep  shrink?
Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can’t it get us  out?
The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are  finished.
Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to  stay in touch.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY  “

A 100-year-old woman has revealed that her secret to staying sharp is playing a Nintendo D.S. Sadly, no one has the heart to tell her that’s the garage door opener.” -Conan O’Brien

“Students at Pottstown Middle School are now not allowed to wear Uggs, because students were hiding cell phones in them. Next week, the plan is to ban pockets.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A town in Austria opened a new museum dedicated to failed inventions. Or as Microsoft reported it, ‘Hey! Someone just ordered a Zune!'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.” – Granville Hicks

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.” – Mark Twain

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” – Abraham Lincoln

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner–Mother Potato and her three  daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. “Mother  Potato?” she said. “I have an announcement to make.” “And what might  that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s  eyes. “Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m  getting married!” The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother  Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest  daughter?” “I’m marrying a Russet!” “A Russet!” replied Mother  Potato with pride. “Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”  As the family shared in the eldest daughter’s joy, the middle daughter  spoke up. “Mother? I, too, have an announcement.” “And what might that  be?” encouraged Mother Potato. Not knowing quite how to begin, the  middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, “I, too, am getting married!”  “You, too!” Mother Potato said with joy. “That’s wonderful! Twice the  good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?”  “I’m marrying an Idaho!” beamed the middle daughter. “An Idaho!”  said Mother Potato with joy. “Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater  indeed!” Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan  for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. “Mother? Mother  Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make.” “Yes?” said Mother  Potato with great anticipation. “Well,” began the youngest Potato  daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, “I hope  this doesn’t come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!”  “Really?” said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. “All of my lovely  daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying,  Youngest Daughter?” “I’m marrying Peter Jennings!” “Peter  Jennings?!” Mother Potato scowled suddenly. “But he’s just a common tater!”

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???‘My name is Ash, and I am a slave.’ Answer: Army of Darkness. Good old Ash, the hero from the ‘Evil Dead’  movie series.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘Neighbors heard them screaming at each other like for two hours, it was  nothing new. Then they heard the gun go off.’

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Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….  And now for more in the tradition of the Vowel-less Knights: 1.  Mnds r lk prchts – th nl fnctn whn pn. 2.Bwr f smll xpnss,  smll lk wll snk  grt shp. 3.  Prblms cnnt b slvd t th sm lvl f wrnss tht crtd thm. 

ANSWER: 1.  Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open. Bonus: Thomas Dewar.  He played the pipes in 1885, successfully annoying everyone else there.
2.  Beware of small expenses, a small leak will sink a great ship. Bonus:  Benjamin Franklin.
3.  Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them. Bonus: Albert Einstein.

Wednesday’s Quizzlers is…….... What is this below?
1) Take a pinch of D 2) Stir in a pint of I 3) Weigh in 5oz of S 4) Whisk thoroughly while adding a small grated A 5) Bring to boil and add the S 6) Meanwhile finely dice a large T 7) Sprinkle in a peeled E 8) Finally add R, to taste and then add to the mixture.

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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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