WELCOME to Tuesday February 28, 2012. Modern Aphorisms…..
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Italian authorities seized $6 trillion worth of fake, worthless U.S. Treasury bonds. Pretty good counterfeit job, too. They look just like the genuine worthless Treasury bonds.” -Jay Leno
“The reality is earth contains only so much fossil fuel. So the solution is obvious. If oil comes from fossils, then we should genetically engineer more dinosaurs. What could possibly go wrong?” -Craig Ferguson
“A new survey found that the tooth fairy left about 42 cents less in 2011 than it did the year before. When kids lose teeth now, they’re like, ‘Ehh, I’m gonna hold onto this until the market improves.'” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbor, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking. He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we homeschooled them. With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. I said, “No, I also work… but out of our home.” Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in. “He was born at home,” I answered. The man looked at me and said, “You don’t get out much, do you?” ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???‘When I die, bury me upside down so the world can kiss my behind.’ Answer: Platoon. This is written on Charlie Sheen’s helmet.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from?? ‘I just need you to know one thing, that woman, that you saw, by the pool, no, that girl that you just have to spend the rest of your life with…that was me.’
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Monday’s Quizzler is………. The following quotes are all by Forrest Gump (played by Tom Hanks), can you figure them out? They all use the same code. XT XSXS SCPSTF FSJM CJKD PSF CJLD S OZV ZK IGZIZCSNDF. TZE RDWDU LRZP PGSN TZE’UD AZRRS ADN. XT RSXD’F KZUUDFN AEXQ. QDZQCD ISCC XD KZUUDFN AEXQ.
J’X RZN S FXSUN XSR, OEN J LRZP PGSN CZWD JF.
ANSWER: My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get. My name’s Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump. I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is………. Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
1. FORE – __________ – WAITER 2. FORE – __________ – HOOD 3. FORE – __________ – ABLE
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! PURE GENIUS ANDREA!
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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