by eucman

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday March 6, 2012. That’s How the Fight Started…….

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift… The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used
the gift I bought you last year!” And that’s how the fight started…..
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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have make love?’
‘No,’ she answered. I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.” And that’s when the fight started…
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.” He said, “Aren’t you worried about
the mad cow?” “Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started…..
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn’t been sober since.” “My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?” And then the fight started…
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY

“The U.S. beat Italy in soccer for the first time ever. America hasn’t embarrassed Italy this badly since the first Olive

Garden opened.” -Conan O’Brien

“Police officers say that because of the economy, more thieves are stealing gas from

parked cars. Victims said they hadn’t felt that robbed since they put

the gas INTO their car.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A lot of people make money off of weddings, such as caterers, photographers,

and divorce lawyers.” -Craig Ferguson

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. “We’re still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker,” the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. “I’m sorry,” she said,”we are now serving lunch.”
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???‘You’re so much less  attractive when I’m sober.’ ‘Well, thank goodness  it’s not very often.’  Answer: The Money Pit. Shelley Long says this to Tom Hanks in ‘The  Money Pit’.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??‘Mmm hmm, yes,  living here pisses off all the right people.’
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Monday’s Quizzler is………. In the tradition of the Vowel-less Knights, the more you answered, the harder it got to answer.  Therefore, here are more for you to answer. 1.cnnt smltnsl prvnt nd prpr fr wr. 2. f  knw nthr th nm nr rslf,  wll sccmb n vr bttl. 3. Wr s rgrdd s nthng bt th cntntn f stt plc wth thr mns.

ANSWER: 1. You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. Bonus: Albert Einstein.
2.If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle. Bonus: Sun Tzu, who wrote The Art of War, and this quote comes from chapter 3.
3. War is regarded as nothing but the continuation of state policy with other means. Bonus: Karl Von Clausewitz, who wrote On War.

Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….

The following pairs of words can be unscrambled to make two words that go together, like “this & that”. All pairs follow the same theme. Can you determine what they say?
UNLACE NUT = _____ + _____ SOUTH GARDEN = _____ + _____ SHORTER TRIBES = _____ + _____ HAT THEREFROM = _____ + _____

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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