WELCOME to Monday April 1, 2012. Modern Aphorisms…..
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it!
Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman
QUOTES OF THE DAY
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. ~Author Unknown
The trouble with, “A place for everything and everything in its place” is that there’s always more everything than places. ~Robert Brault
Amount of time it takes for a dog to “do its business” is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner’s outerwear. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon
There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice.
The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. ~Bat Masterson
No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
See if you can do this. Read each line aloud without making any mistakes.If you make a mistake you MUST start over or it won’t work.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is moron cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top…
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Goodnight you Princes of Maine, you Kings of New England.’ Answer: The Cider House Rules. This was a great movie, but those of you who love to read (like me) should read the book before seeing it. What makes the book better is there is another part to the story that continues past where the movie ends, and that’s what makes it better. Starring Tobey Maguire (not only cute, but a good actor), Michael Caine (won Oscar for Best Supporting Actor), and Charlize Theron
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘You should see the other guy!’
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Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Words pertaining to a theme are shown with all of their vowels already in place. Fill in the consonants that will complete the words. What is the theme?
BB CC DD H LLLL PP Q RR SS TTT V
1. __ a __ __ e __ __ o __ __ 2. __ e __ __ __ __ e a __ 3. __ __ i __ __ o __ e __ 4. __ u i __ __
Answer. Furniture coverings. 1. Tablecloth 2. Bedspread 3. Slipcover 4. Quilt
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
Mr. Ixolite was in Mexico on his holidays and was looking to try the hottest chili he could find. He went into a restaurant and ordered a hot one. After the fire in his mouth had been put out, and he sat there gasping for breath, the waiter came up to him and said, “Excuse me, Senor Ixolite, we are very sorry, but we accidentally gave you the wrong chili. We gave you the mild one instead of this very hot one. Would you like it?”
MrIxolite paled, but being unable to speak, grabbed a napkin and wrote out the following rebus:
Hose A) Hose B) Way Hose C) Way
What was Mr. Ixolite trying to say _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/”
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