WELCOME to Friday April 6, 2012.  Confucius Says…..
Confucius Says:
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.
Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.
When lady say `no´ she mean `perhaps´ when she say `perhaps´ she mean
`yes´  but when she say `yes´, she not a lady.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.
Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Television never replace old reliable key hole.
Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy…
Laziest man in world who marry widow with six children.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
Man who scratches backside should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Kids are like Legos, lot of fun to make, but sooner or later,
only end up  messing up house. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it!
Have a great Easter weekend people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to
LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“There were three winning lotto tickets. We’re not sure who the three winners
are yet. But when they do come forward, two things happen immediately. You get a
call from the IRS asking for half. Then you get a call from your friends and
relatives asking for the other half.” -Jay Leno

“Alicia Silverstone is making news for feeding her son by chewing his food
and then passing it into his mouth. Even birds are like, ‘Just buy him some
Gerber, you weirdo!'” -Jimmy Fallon

“The Mega Millions jackpot added up to a record $656 million. Three people
correctly picked all six numbers. Now the plan is to throw them into a pit of
some kind and have them fight to the death.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending
nights with my friends–generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never
went to college, stopped by. Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my
future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. “Well,” he replied,
“you better start thinking about it. You’ll be thirty before you know it.” “But I’m closer to twenty
than to thirty,” I protested. “I won’t be thirty for eight more years.” “I see,” he said, smiling.
“And when will you be twenty again?”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Listen, here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half  hour at the table, then you are the sucker.’
Answer: Rounders. The opening line of the movie.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, and orange in the evening.  Just like that, one two three four!’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each of the following clues describes two words.  One of the words is a type of fruit.  The other word is that fruit with one of the following changes:  a letter added anywhere (apple applet), a letter deleted anywhere (orange range), or a letter changed anywhere (cheery cherry).  There is no rearrangement of the other letters.  No fruit is used more than once. 1) This is a devilish fruit. 2) This is a crippled fruit. 3) This is a happy fruit. 4) This is a criminal fruit. 5) This is a large fruit. 6) This is a tardy fruit. 7) This is a sullen fruit. 8) This is an up-to-date fruit. 9) This is a handkerchief worn by a fruit. 10) This is a popular dance among fruit. 11) This is a complaint by a fruit. 12) This is a weapon used by a fruit.
Answer. 1) demon lemon, 2) lame lime, 3) merry berry, 4) felon melon, 5) big fig, 6) late date, 7) glum plum,8) current currant 9) banana bandana, 10) mango tango, 11) grape gripe, 12) pear spear

Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
I may be pretty, Or I may not, It all depends on what you like. I start out sharp, but I don’t bite! I’m not even strict! You can use me, But don’t abuse me, Or I can become quite dull. I may define a certain mood, But just like hearts, I can melt and break. I always wear my true colors And I’ll never hide them. This riddle is short and quite easy, So who exactly could I be?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send