WELCOME to Monday April 9, 2012. Learn a new word each day.
Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney buh-lo’-nee: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette burn’-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize bur’-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.
Control kon-trol’: A short, ugly inmate.
Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse i-klips’: what an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper i’-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes hee’-rhos: what a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank left’ bangk’: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Misty mis’-tee: How golfers create divots.
Paradox par’-u-doks: two physicians.
Parasites par’-uh-sites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist farm’-uh-sist: a helper on the farm.
Polarize po’-lur-ize: what penguins see with.
Primate pri’-mat: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
Relief ree-leef’: what trees do in the spring.
Rubberneck rub’-er-nek: what you do to relax your wife.
Seamstress seem’-stres: describes 200 pounds in a size two.
Selfish sel’-fish: what the owner of a seafood store does.
Subdued sub-dood’: a guy, that works on one of those submarines.
Sudafed sood’-a-fed: bringing litigation against a government  official.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to
LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror.  ~Elaine  Dundy

People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.  ~Dave Barry

It’s annoying  to be disapproved of by people who know only half the story
– especially when  you’re not sure which half they know.  ~Robert Brault.

The Act of God designation on  all insurance policies… means roughly that you
cannot be insured for the  accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
If your ox kicks a hole in  your neighbor’s Maserati, however, indemnity
is instantaneous.  ~Alan Coren,The Lady from Stalingrad Mansions, 1977

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A Minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.He said, “Today, church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing  whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross.”  Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, “The Old Rugged  Cross.” The Pastor hollered out, “Grace.” The congregation began  to sing, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.” The Pastor said, “Power.”  The congregation sang, “There is Power in the Blood.” The Pastor  said, “Sex.” The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in  shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say  anything. Suddenly, from the back of the church, a frail little 87  year-old grandmother stood up and, in a tiny quavering voice, began to sing,  “Precious Memories.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, and orange in the evening. Just like that, one two three four!’
Answer:Requiem For a Dream.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from??? ‘Noah was a drunk. Look what he accomplished. And no one’s even asking you to  build an ark. All you have to do is go to New Jersey.’

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
I may be pretty, Or I may not, It all depends on what you like. I start out sharp, but I don’t bite! I’m not even strict! You can use me, But don’t abuse me, Or I can become quite dull. I may define a certain mood, But just like hearts, I can melt and break. I always wear my true colors And I’ll never hide them. This riddle is short and quite easy, So who exactly could I be?
Answer. A crayon. If you continually use a crayon, then it will become dull. It starts out
sharp when you buy it, but its tip doesn’t hurt. A crayon is a specific color and can change if it is melted or broken. Makers of crayons sometimes name them for a mood they represent. For example, a blue crayon may be named “Sadness” or perhaps “Feeling Blue”.

Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
This teaser is in honor of man’s quest to quench his thirst with non-alcoholic beverages.  Can you figure out what drinks are depicted below?
1.  Joint between thigh and lower leg + having great elevation + yielding readily to pressure + swallowing liquid contents.
2.  A practitioner of medicine + spicy hot pod like fruit that grows on plants.
3.  Dried and powdered rhizome used as spice + another name for beer.
4.  Underground portion of a plant + another name for ale.
5.  A natural elevation of the earth’s surface having considerable mass and a height greater than that of a hill + water droplets condensed from the air.
6.  A powder made from cacao seeds + tropical African evergreen plant having reddish fragrant nutlike seeds.

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/