WELCOME to Wednesday April 11, 2012. Top Things You Should Not Say At A Funeral….
1. Geez, what died in here?
2. He looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress.
3. Nice service…where’s the keg?
4. When did he die…really…hey Bob, you won the pool!!!
5. Hey, we’re with the Publisher Clearing House Prize Patrol and we’re looking for…oh, never mind.
6. Don’t look now Fred but you and the deceased have the exact same suit on.
7. You know they touched that body up cause that shark has one of them legs.
8. Not to cause panic or anything but something is leaking out of that casket. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to
LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” – W. C. Fields

“The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.” – B. F. Skinner

“Betty White has a new show on NBC called ‘Off Their Rockers’ where
senior citizens prank young people. It’s kind of like what we’re doing
to them with Social Security.” -Jay Leno

“This week in Ireland an elephant escaped from a circus and ended up at
a mall. Fortunately, the elephant didn’t hurt anyone but he did sit in one
of those Brookstone massage chairs with no intention of buying it.” -Jimmy Fallon

“iTunes announced a controversial app has been pulled after people said it was
designed for stalkers. The developers say they will resubmit their app under
its original name: Facebook.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized
license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork
he explained, “This way I can’t forget the date.” A few hours later, I recognized
the same young man waiting in my line. When his turn came, he said somewhat
sheepishly, “I need to change the numbers on that plate application.”  ID-10-T
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.’ Answer: Goodfellas. Henry Hill, commenting
on James Conway, played  by Robert De Niro.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
‘If you shoot this man, you die next. Repeat. If you shoot this man, you die  next.’

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Yup, he’s back with more!!! Oxy, after finding that his first teaser had such great success, decided to find some more oxymorons and come up with another brain teaser!  Now, your task is the same as last time: Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are? Ex) 1) discovered lost 2) bigger part 3) sugary sour 4) sad humor 5) solitary in company. >Answer. 1) found missing  2) larger half  3) sweet tart  4) tragic comedy  5) alone together

Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Can you unscramble the movies in Part 1 and match them with who the star was in Part 2?  And your answer is?
Part 1 1.  LANEI 2.  TOCMELA 3.  GEISNRLM 4.  OPCYSH 5.  RMAOB 6.  PASUARSCT 7.  EUTKL
Part 2 1.  Kirk Douglas. 2.  Sylvester Stallone. 3.  Donald Sutherland. 4.  Sigourney Weaver. 5.  Phoebe Cates. 6.  Richard Harris. 7.  Anthony Perkins.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers&Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send