WELCOME to Friday April 13, 2012.  Deep Thoughts…. 

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are  always white?

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that  something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum  cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their  vacuum one more chance?

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? If not then  what was the purpose of the bath?

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping  cart then apologizes for
doing so, why do we say ‘It’s all right’? It isn’t all  right, so why don’t we say, ‘That hurt, you stupid idiot?’

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the  table you always manage to knock something else over?

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is  how close to the road the stuff is placed?

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when  we complained about the heat?

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?

If diamonds are a girl’s best friend and a dog is man’s best friend, who  really is the dumber sex?

Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren’t they just as  needy throughout the rest of the year?

Why is it that men can react to broken bones as ‘just a sprain’ and deep  wounds as ‘just a scratch,’ but when

they get the sniffles they are deathly ill  ‘with the flu’ and have to be bedridden for weeks?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

Shouldn’t all married men forget their mistakes? After all there’s no sense  in two people remembering the same things right?

Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don’t have to live  with women?

If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told  you to?   That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you  do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
On Saturday the Empire State Building went dark for an hour to draw attention to climate change. Of course, 10 endangered eagles then crashed into the building.” -Jimmy Fallon

“China has overtaken the United States as the world’s biggest food and grocery market. That means they buy and consume more food than we do. Which when you think about it � of course they do. A half hour after they eat, they’re hungry again. It’s Chinese food.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Last night Melissa Gilbert suffered a concussion on ‘Dancing With the Stars. It’s the first time anyone connected with that show has actually seen stars.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told
everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead. He didn’t return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our answering machine click on. “Hi,” a voice said. “This is Dad. I’m locked out of the house.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive.Fate, it seems, is not without
a sense of irony.’ Answer: The Matrix. Starring Keanu Reeves.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?What movie is this quote from???
You know what the Queen said? I had balls, I’d be a King.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each sentence below contains a word that can be anagrammed to answer or describe the sentence.  Example: Craft that might tip in the ocean.Answer:  Canoe (Anagram of ocean)
1. Bit of brush 2. Opposite of unite 3. Writings of a steno 4. They affix without paste 5. Having less reason for fears 6. Animal that may need a shoer Answer: 1. Shrub 2. Untie 3. Notes 4. Tapes 5. Safer 6. Horse

Decapitate me and all becomes equal. Then truncate me and I become second. Cut me front and back and I become two less than I started.
What am I?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send