WELCOME to Friday May 4, 2012. WWJD….
Most people assume WWJD is for “What would Jesus do?” But the initials
really have been changed to stand for “What would Jesus drive?” One theory
is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says,
“God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage
urges the Jesus to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them
with your Storm.” Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses’
followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds
a long blast.” Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t like to
talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John’s gospel where Christ tells
the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord…”
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage
declaring that “the roar of Moses’ Triumph is heard in the hills.” Joshua drove a
Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua’s Triumph was heard
throughout the land.” And, following Jesus’ lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda…
“The Apostles were in one Accord.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people, try
enjoying your time, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“The first case of mad cow disease since 2006 was discovered here in the United States.
The good news, since the cow is in California, instead of putting the cow down, they are
gong to enroll him in anger management classes.” -Jay Leno
“Health officials in California are warning that teenagers are trying to get drunk by drinking
hand sanitizer. Yeah, it’s weird when you’re like, ‘I got so wasted last night I must’ve had
like, six squirts of Purell.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“I have to admit I feel a bond with Edgar Allan Poe. He lived in Scotland. I lived in Scotland.
He drank. I drank. He shaped the world with his work. I drank.” -Craig Ferguson
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One afternoon, while touring the Canyonlands of southern Utah, my husband and I pulled
into the only hotel in a small town. While signing the register, we asked the young woman
behind the desk if our room was air-conditioned.
When she shook her head no, we hesitated, wondering if we should push on to the next town.
Sensing our doubt, she brightened as she came up with a solution. “Just turn on the heater,”
she suggested. “Our customers tell us all that comes out is cold air anyway.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???”You have the most beautiful toes and I’m
not even a foot guy.”
Answer: You, Me and Dupree! Carl Peterson (Matt Dillon) says this to his wife,
Molly Peterson (Kate Hudson), one night in bed after getting married. Their
newlywed life is crashed suddenly by the arrival of an unemployed, homeless
friend Randy Dupree (Owen Wilson) who was the best man at their wedding.
He was fired because he took time off work to attend their wedding. The arrival
of Dupree creates problems between the newlyweds, as he takes their offer of a
few days and extends it to a much, much longer period of time. Instead of looking
for a job as he promised, he begins playing with the children of the street and
hosting parties at the couple’s house. This mayhem is only increased further by
the antics of Molly’s father, Mr. Thomson (Michael Douglas), also Carl’s boss, who
constantly insists that Carl change his last name to Thomson rather than have
Molly change hers to Peterson.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “When an individual acquires great power,
the use or misuse of that power is everything. Will it be used for the greater good
or will it be used for personal or destructive ends? Now this is a question we must all ask ourselves.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
I am a set of three words, all with the same six letters.
First I am a kingdom, though not royally so.
Then spell me backwards, and I become a thin plate.
Now rearrange my consonants, leaving my vowels in place …
I am now a type of paper. What are the words?
ANSWER: animal = a kingdom, not royal, but biological
lamina = a thin plate
manila = a type of paper
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
Take the list of words below and arrange them into 3 sentences that all have something
in common. Each word is only used once for each time it appears in the list. Punctuation
is not an issue in this teaser in the initial placement of words. Only names are capitalized to start with.
DAD, LET, LETS, LEW, MARGE, MISSES, NO, NORAH, ORDERED, ROSES, SEE, SHARON’S, SIMON, TELEGRAM, TELL, WE’LL,
What are the sentences and what do they have in common?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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