WELCOME to Tuesday May 8, 2012. Confucius Says ….
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on potty many moons.
Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Man who make love to girl on hill…he not on level.
Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.
Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there..
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, try
enjoying your day, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Today is the 20th annual Bring Your Child to Work Day. It’s a great
opportunity to show your kids why you come home so
miserable every day.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Last week, a hunter in Kansas shot his friend twice because he mistakenly
thought he was a turkey. After the first shot, the guy said he wasn’t a turkey.
But, come on, that’s exactly what a turkey would have said.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Scientists are saying that the triceratops may never have existed. Next will
be the brontosaurus and the stegosaurus and the next thing you know,
my pajamas are covered in lies.” -Craig Ferguson
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
As a jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers
with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. “Coming up on the right,
you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was
formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons,
struck the earth 50,000 years ago at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for
miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep.”
The lady sitting next to me exclaimed: “Wow, look! It just missed the highway!”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I could more easily forgive his vanity had he not wounded mine.”
Answer: Pride and Prejudice! This is said by Elizabeth Bennett (Keira Knightly) of Mr. Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen), a man who has unknowlingly caught the eye of the audacious Elizabeth. Elizabeth says this when she knows she loves Darcy and he loves her but her pride comes in and she does not want to forgive him for lying to her. Elizabeth Bennett is one of Jane Austen’s most famous heroines. The novel revolves around five sisters, Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Kitty and Lydia Bennett. She is a woman who believes in marrying only for love, not for money. Her mother, however, firmly believes marrying a rich man is the only way to maintain status in society and be happy. Mr. Darcy is an extremely weathly bachelor, one that Mrs. Bennett would adore to have as a son-in-law. Elizabeth, however, resists her mother’s forceful behaviour until she, herself, begins to fall for him.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You cannot let him near the chest, man, trust me on this.
You can mistrust me less than you can mistrust him. Trust me.”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is this? Interrogator.”Who stole the gold?”
Parsley.”…”
Sage. “…”
Rosemary. “…”
Thyme. “It was Basil.”
ANSWER: Only time will tell. lit. Only the herb Thyme (time) will tell who stole the gold.
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
There are two groups of four-letter words used in the sentences below. The first missing words of each sentence are anagrams of each other, and the second missing words are also anagrams of each other. Can you find them?
1. The hunters set a ____ for the hare. How else were they to enjoy its succulent _____ ?
2. They all listened in ____ attention as their leader spoke and motivated them to work as a ____.
3. There will always be a small ____ of wildness in a cat, though it is considered to be a ____ animal today.
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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