by eucman

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏

WELCOME to Wednesday May 9, 2012. New Job Lingo defined…. 
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY – We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE – We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up;

well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED – You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED – Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY – Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL – We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED – Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE – We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE – You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST – You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS – You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, try 
enjoying your day, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! 
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“One of the most anticipated movies of the year comes out tomorrow. It’s Marvel’s
‘The Avengers.’ All the super heroes gathered together. It’s kind of cool to see all
the characters responsible for my virginity together in one film.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“You know what Portland has lot of? Microbreweries. I think they are like regular

breweries, but only serve midgets.” -Craig Ferguson

“A new study found that eating healthy adds $380 to your grocery bill every year.

Or as Americans put it, ‘Cool, I saved $380 this year!'” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet. “It’s all those years of standing,”

his doctor declared. “You need a vacation. Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and
you‘ll feel better.” When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware store, bought
two large buckets and headed for the beach. “How much for two buckets of that seawater?”
he asked the lifeguard. “A dollar a bucket,” the fellow replied with a straight face.
The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to his hotel room and soaked his feet. They felt
so much better he decided to repeat the treatment that afternoon. Again he handed the lifeguard
two dollars. The young man took the money and said, “Help yourself.”

The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement. The tide was out. “Wow,” he said,
turning to the lifeguard. “Some business you got here!” 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? 

“You cannot let him near the chest, man, trust me on this. 
You can mistrust me less than you can mistrust him. Trust me.”
 
Answer: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. 

This comedic line is said by Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp)
to Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) when Jack, Elizabeth and Will are trying to find Davy Jones’ heart which is locked in
a chest. Jack is trying to convince Will of giving the chest to him rather than to Norrington, a man who wants the
chest to get a pardon and reclaim his life. The heart is Jack’s key to defeating Davy Jones. Will needs the heart to free
his father, who has been committed to serving Davy Jones for life. Elizabeth is engaged to Will. This is the second movie
in an extremely entertaining trilogy which also stars Keira Knightly, and Geoffrey Rush. The third movie in the series is
called “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”.
  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  

“I arrived in America’s airport with clothings, U.S dollars 
and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.” 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

 There are two groups of four-letter words used in the sentences below. The first missing words of each sentence are 

 anagrams of each other, and the second missing words are also anagrams of each other. Can you find them?

1. The hunters set a ____ for the hare. How else were they to enjoy its succulent _____ ?

2. They all listened in ____ attention as their leader spoke and motivated them to work as a ____.

3. There will always be a small ____ of wildness in a cat, though it is considered to be a ____ animal today.


ANSWER:  1. The hunters set a TRAP for the hare. How else were they to enjoy its succulent MEAT ?


2. They all listened in RAPT attention as their leader spoke and motivated them to work as a TEAM.

3. There will always be a small PART of wildness in a cat, though it is considered to be a TAME animal today.

Group I – TRAP, RAPT, PART
Group II – MEAT, TEAM, TAME
  

Wednesday’s Quizzlers is……….

What common phrase is represented by this?

1928: Sliced Bread = 95% Perfect

1938: Nylon Bristle Toothbrush = 90% Perfect

*1959: Barbie Doll = 96% Perfect*

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
 

 

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