WELCOME to Monday May 14, 2012. Ponderings.
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
You know how most packages say “Open here”.What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers?
Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears
dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~Fred Allen
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to
the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. ~H.L. Mencken
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. ~Author Unknown
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t. ~Author Unknown
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser’s owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was gesturing annoyingly at Trouser’s masters. This strange person spoke not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on his masters’ faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this annoying pseudo clown’s leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue all over the ground in an effort to remove the man’s foul essence from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that …. a mime is a terrible thing to taste.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.”
Answer: The Notebook. This beautiful quote is said by an elderly Noah Calhoun (played by James Garner) when retelling the story to his wife, Allie Hamilton (Gena Rowlands) who has Alzheimers. He tries, during the film, to revive her memories of him through retelling the story of their youth. It stars Rachel McAdams as a teenage Allie and Ryan Gosling as a teenage Noah. The movie starts with a man reading a story to a woman in a nursing home. It follows two teenagers who fall in love one summer only to be separated by Allie’s parents. When Allie goes back years later, their love reignites. She is left with a difficult decision. She must choose to marry either the man for whom she has nursed a love all her life or a man who she has recently met and is not entirely sure she loves. Coincidently, both main actors come from London, Ontario, Canada. The movie is based on the popular novel by Nicolas Sparks, who also wrote “A Walk to Remember”.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Everything in this room is eatable. Even I’m eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
The following sentences have two blanks that can be filled with two words that are anagrams of each other. Please find those words.
1. Mark’s math __________ was a mild-mannered man. But one thing he would not tolerate was a __________. He would immediately fail anyone caught doing so.
2. The patient __________ his pain through physical therapy. He had seen enough __________ surgeries to know that too many people elected surgery when they shouldn’t have.
3. After a long and successful career of serving his country, the nation was in shock as the highly regarded __________ was arrested and tried for __________.
ANSWER: 1. teacher, cheater, 2. lessened, needless, 3. Senator, treason
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
Below is a (very) short story with 10 capitalized words or phrases which are anagrams of words that all fit in a certain category. Can you find the anagrams and determine the category?
A salesman with a CHIC NAME and the ability to quickly MATCH PAIRS of shoes that PERTAIN to CITY SHIPS was talking to a CHEATER. “I saw you paint a STRIPE on that SCARY TREE,” he said, “and you had better remove it before I REPORT you. OUR HAT wearing club will be on you before you can even TRY A NOTE on that slide whistle.”
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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