WELCOME to Friday May 25, 2012. Confucius Says….
He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
Eunuch not strange creature, just man cut out to be bachelor.
Man who dream of eating giant mushroom—wake up with no pillow.
Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.
He who put face in fruit drink get punch in the nose.
Butcher who backs into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work.
Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Memorial day weekend people,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“One of the pioneers of TV passed away over the weekend, Eugene Polley,
who invented the remote control. Polley died doing what he loved
not getting up.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Some people use Facebook to check up on ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends.
That just seems creepy to me. I like it the old-fashioned way. If you want to
check up on an ex, go through their trash.” -Craig Ferguson
“That Facebook guy, Mark Zuckerberg, got married over the weekend. His
company goes public, and he’s now worth $100 billion. Then he gets married.
He may not be as smart as we thought.” -Dave Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on the witness stand. “And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage, didn’t you feel any qualms? Didn’t you feel the slightest pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly unconscious of it?” “Yes,” she answered. “Come to think of it…there was just a moment when I sort of felt sorry for him.” “And, when was that?” “When he asked for the second cup.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Oh, don’t worry about it. After all, it’s not ancient tribal burial ground.
It’s just… people. Besides we have done it before.”
Answer: Poltergeist! During this particular scene, Steve Freeling, played by Canadian actor Craig T. Nelson, asked about the further development of the local suburbs (of which he was a primary realtor). His boss decided to mention the relocation of the local cemetery which, by chance, happened to be created by native Indians many centuries earlier. Maybe he should’ve kept that one quiet. As it turned out, only moving the headstones and not exhuming the cursed tribal bodies wasn’t only bad for business, it was responsible for the horrible hauntings in the Freeling household, resulting in young Carol Anne being taken away to another realm in her closet, young son Robbie nearly being eaten by the spooky tree outside, and wife Diane nearly drowning in a pool of skeletons. In the end of the movie, the house imploded, moments after they got into the car and drove away. And that’s why you get a building inspection.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It’s, you know, it’s like a surprise, but don’t worry, it’s nothing embarrassing. Not anything like baton twirling or anything.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Many of our everyday words have more than one meaning. Below are eleven pairs of definitions. Both definitions in each pair fit the same word. When read down, the first letters of the eleven answers will spell out the name of a beloved TV celebrity.
1. Spend time idly or bread unit
2. Worker’s organization or marriage
3. Pine tree fruit or ice cream holder
4. Feeling of curiosity or savings account accrual
5. Land parcel or considerable quantity
6. Illumination or not weighty at all
7. Typewriter type style or the VIP crowd
8. Baby’s toy or city square
9. Weapon or upper body appendage
10. Bowling group or three nautical miles
11. Stand at a slant or thin
ANSWER: 1. Loaf, 2. Union, 3. Cone, 4. Interest, 5. Lot, 6. Light, 7. Elite, 8. Block, 9. Arm
10. League, 11. Lean, Celebrity: Lucille Ball
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
The following word pairs are anagrams which can be combined to form the name of an animal or insect.Try to figure it out.
1. Zeal, Gel
2. Neat, Help
3. Boa, Luff
4. Bow, Mat
5. Evil, Owner
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THURSDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! SUPER SOLVING BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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