WELCOME to Monday June 11, 2012. Men are Happier and why shouldn’t they be?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is “just too icky”.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 (or less) for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have an interesting Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said
‘Are you going to help?’ I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.
Les Dawson
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir … mighty scarce.
Mark Twain
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who
haven’t what they want that they don’t want it.
Ogden Nash
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
Unknown
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, whatever you hit, call it the target.
Ashleigh Brilliant
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.
E. DeGeners
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A man leaned to his right because his right leg was shorter than his left. He finally went to see a surgeon after much insistence from friends. Later, one of those friends saw the man walking down the street and noticed that the man’s legs were exactly the same length. “See, what did I tell you?”, the friend boasted. “You didn’t believe the doctor could fix your leg!” The man said, “I stand corrected.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure”
Answer: Chariots of Fire! One of the best British films of all time, “Chariots of Fire” was nominated for seven Academy Awards and succeeded in winning four of them, including the coveted Best Picture award. Charleson plays Eric Liddell, who qualifies for the final of the 100 metres but is unable to run because his beliefs prevent him from working (racing) on the Sabbath, the day of the race. The script, beautifully crafted by Colin Welland, uses the conflict between Liddell’s beliefs and his desire to run. Liddell sees his running as a way of glorifying God and uses the above line to justify his actions to his sister Jennie, who strongly disapproves of his course to enter competitive racing. The film also contains a memorable score written by the Greek composer Vangelis.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I’m a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Help Beethoven use these clues below to decipher these popular Christmas/Holiday tunes.
Example: A Triad of Monarchs Answer: We Three Kings
1. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis.
2. Frozen precipitation commences.
3. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas.
4. I envisioned a trio of marine vessels.
5. Do you perceive the same longitudinal pressure that stimulates my auditory sense organs?
6. Leave and do a broadcast on an elevated peak.
Bonus: The apartment of 2 psychiatrists.
ANSWER: 1. Silent Night, 2. Let it Snow, 3. O Holy Night, 4. I saw Three Ships, 5. Do you hear what I hear?
6. Go tell it on the Mountain, Bonus: The Nutcracker Suite
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
The blanks below can be filled in with words spelled with the same four letters in different order. Find them.
There once was a musical, _ _ _ _.
It was performed in three _ _ _ _.
When it was through,
The audience flew
And all of the _ _ _ _ went _ _ _ _.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR SOLVING FRIDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY!
GREAT JOB LADIES!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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