WELCOME to Friday June 15, 2012. Paraprosdokians…..
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify: ‘I put ‘DOCTOR.’
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
Cheese, wine, and a friend must be old to be good.
Cuban Proverb
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working with one.
Bill Gates
When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course.
Peter F. Drucker
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
Sue Murphy
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
It’s a bad week for the stock market. Helium was up, but feathers were down. Paper was stationary, but pencils lost a few points. Elevators rose but escalators continued their slow decline. Switches were off and mining equipment hit rock bottom. The raisin market has dried up. Pampers remained unchanged while Sun peaked at mid-day. Scott tissues touched a new bottom.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “The horse is too small, the jockey too big, the trainer too old, and I’m too dumb to know the difference”
Answer: Seabiscuit! Charles Howard is the principal owner of Seabiscuit. Tobey Maguire plays Red Pollard, his jockey, a young man whose family has lost its fortune as a result of The Great Depression, and Chris Cooper plays Tom Smith, the horse’s trainer. The film is loosely based on Laura Hillenbrand’s book “Seabiscuit: An American Legend” and it tells the tale of three men who are down on their fortune and a horse who is, at the start, considered a hack and their growth with the success of the horse. The above line is delivered pompously by the self promoting Howard, at a press conference, asking what his competition is afraid of. The story is an uplifting tale that deals with second chances and is rather poignantly summed up by a line from Maguire’s character, Red Pollard, at the end of the film. “You know, everyone thinks that we found this broken down horse and fixed him, but we didn’t. He fixed us, every one of us, and I guess in a way we kinda fixed each other, too.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You truly love each other and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the story books say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is shown in the figure below?
S-n-o-w
ANSWER: Dashing through the snow.
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
Identify the fruits and vegetables from the following clues:
(Don’t assume that you know how part of a clue is pronounced. There may be more than one way!)
1. “Mom, may we please go outside? Will you please let us play? PLEASE! PLEASE!”
2. Another name for a taxi + the rings in a tree indicate what? = ___________________.
3. A pool stick + C + a burnt brownish color = ______________________.
4. Your mother pairs socks at the toes.
5. A drink + me + the end of the word “talon” = _____________________.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THURDAYS QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! GREAT JOB BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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