WELCOME to Friday June 22, 2012.
Future Novelists… These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever.
He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resemble Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
“Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a really duck that was actually lame.
Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.
He was deeply in love when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.
Well that’s their story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Weekend people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know
if they are genuine. — Abraham Lincoln
When in doubt, attribute quotes to Mark Twain. — Mark Twain
The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something
and totally make up the source. — George Washington
People who use unattributable and obviously made-up quotes to
make some clever point on the internet are the absolute worst. — Anonymous
The fabrication of Oscar Wilde quotes is among the noblest of endeavors. — Oscar Wilde
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but the living room in your fortified compound. — Kurt Vonnegut
Wear sunscreen. — Count Dracula
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
There was a scare in the Middle East when famous political figure, Ali Ali was hospitalized because of a dangerously high amount of toxins in his bloodstream. After 5 hours of surgery and blood transfusions, everything is all right now because he is Ali Ali, toxin free.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I love you. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. I guess maybe I’ve even loved you before I saw you.”
Answer: A Place in the Sun! George finally confesses his love for socialite Angela at a dance. Angela pulls him out to a balcony for privacy and admits that she feels the same way about him, and they pledge themselves to each other, promising to see each other all summer. Did you know? “A Place in the Sun” was based on the book, “An American Tragedy.” The film also provided Elizabeth Taylor with her first adult role.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I’m your number one fan.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
A brain chain, is a list of words, that are connected in one of four ways.
1. They rhyme. 2. They are synonyms. 3. They are anagrams 4. They differ by one letter. This example is a word chain: file, life, lice, slice, piece. Note: The first and last word of the chain are not connected. Make the following words into a brain chain. And just to make it harder, I added an extra word. Good Luck!
rough..vehicle..puff…fan
saint..buff..paint
van…rouge…angel
ANSWER: The chain is: vehicle, van, fan, buff, rough, rouge, paint, saint, angel Or backwards, of course.
The word that is extra, was “puff”
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
Every single human, plant and animal has had one at some point on Earth
Many things can cause you to lose it,
but many things can be done to preserve it,
it can be very painful and hard,
but very enjoyable at the same time,
sometimes other people take them,
and sometimes people take their own,
but many people try to improve theirs. What am I?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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