WELCOME to Tuesday June 26, 2012. Confucius Say…
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him.
Man who streaks is unsuited for his work.
Girl who does everything under the sun gets everything sunburned.
Man who places head in sand will get kicked in the end.
Man who gets too big for his britches may get exposed in the end.
Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. (thanks to Ben Hiscock)
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratches rear should not bite fingernails.
Man who sinks into woman’s arms soon will find arms in woman’s sink.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Hourglasses are waste of time. (thanks to John Serventy)
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ. (thanks to Juleen Dickins)
All men eat, but Fu Man Chu.
War doesn’t determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Girl who go camping must beware of evil intent.
If you want pretty nurse, you must be patient.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Modern house without toilet uncanny.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.
Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“I hate driving, and I hate when people honk at me. Unless I’m
making a left turn. Then I like it because that’s how
I know it’s time to turn.” –Rita Rudner
“I had surgery this year. Nothing serious, thank God. But just
before I went under I heard the one thing you don’t want to hear,
‘Where’s my lucky scalpel?'” –Jonathan Katz
“Some things just aren’t funny. Beatings aren’t funny. Mimes aren’t funny.
But beating a mime – why is that so hilarious?” –Dave Attell
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A rather youthful Billy Joel was fascinated when he entered the Green Room at the Tonight Show and saw a group of matronly nuns hastily applying hair color to the noggin of the show’s next guest, Neil Young, whose agent offered an explanation from the corner of the room: “Only the good dye Young.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.”
Answer: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid! Butch says this to Sundance after explaining that they should go to Bolivia, believing that it has better gold, silver and tin mines. Sundance has heard many of his somewhat ridiculous ideas before.
Did you know? Originally, Warren Beatty was supposed to play Butch, while Steve McQueen was slated to play the Sundance Kid.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I know what you’re thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya punk?”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Enter words into the following word chain such that each pair of words in the chain forms a compound word. No word can appear in the chain more than one time. Each “?” represents a missing word. Example: girl ? ? shape = girl friend ship shape = girlfriend friendship shipshape.
waist ? tail ? ? side ? ? fall ? ? down ? ? spring ? ? ? hole
ANSWER: waist coat tail gate way side arm pit fall out put down cast off spring time line man hole
Tuesday’s Quizzlers is……….
Once there was a night watchman who had been caught several times sleeping on the job. The boss issued the final warning. On the next night he was caught with his head on his hand and his elbows on the desk. “Aha, I’ve caught you again,” exclaimed the boss. The watchman’s eyes popped open immediately and he knew what had happened. Being a quick thinking man, he said one word before looking up at the boss. The boss apologized profusely and went home. What was the one word?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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