WELCOME to Thursday June 28, 2012. Wit and Wisdom……
It’s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Is it just me, or does anybody else find pressing F5 refreshing?
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from. Then it dawned on me.
In high school, I was in the French club. All we would do is occasionally surrender to the German club.
The worst bar I’ve ever been to was called The Fiddle. It really was a vile inn.
I just want to thank the girl who ran with me for the last few thousand feet in the marathon
yesterday, not wearing a sports bra. Your lack of support got me through.
I used to be quite good at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking, that’s about the same.
Don’t worry about infringing on corporate trademarks, Just Do It.
I told my buddy that, in order to get laid, I’d promised my girlfriend that I’d marry her
in the summer. He said, “July?” I said, “Of course I did.”
Failure is at the end of the path of least persistence.
Shouldn’t the Air and Space Museum be empty?
Somebody called me ‘pretentious’ the other day. I nearly choked on my latte.
I spent some time at my wife’s grave earlier. She’s not dead – she thinks I’m digging a pond.
What do houseflies and Mac users have in common? Neither of them understand how Windows work.
92% of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.
Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“The flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot.
Like anyone goes, ‘Oh, he’s good. I like his work.'” –David Spade
“Correspondence schools are full of it. I saw an ad where they claimed
they could teach you veterinarian medicine thought the mail. Hate to
be a dog in that house. “Mail’s here!” “Yip, yip, yip!” Talk about being a
regular in the pet store, “Hey, didn’t I already sell you a puppy?” –Drew Carey
“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a “learning experience.”
Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a “learning
experience.” It makes me feel less stupid.” –P. J. O’Rourke
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself
with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom.
With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. “Just a minute,” I said, thinking of a
quick solution. “I’ll put down newspapers.” “It’s all right, lady,” he responded. “I’m already trained.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
Answer: Monty Python and the Holy Grail! John Cleese’s character stands in a castle, tossing out random insults to the British, including the classic, “I fart in your general direction!” He also convinces the English that they already possess the Holy Grail. Did you know? The cast was originally going to ride real horses, but they couldn’t fit it in the budget, forcing them to have people follow them, banging coconuts together. (Better that way, anyway, right?)
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “If you build it, he will come.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables which you must use to figure out the 9 words.
Syllable List – cu, di, er ets, ist, lar, ni, ni, o, pen, phy, ra, ri , rou, sels, ter, tog, toon, val, vas, vore Syllable-starter: car How many syllables, each word has:
1. (2),
2. (3), 3. (3)
4. (3),
5. (3), 6. (3)
7. (3),
8. (4), 9. (6)
ANSWER: 1. Carets (car ets), 2. Carnival (car ni val), 3. Carnivore (car ni vore), 4. Carpenter (car pen ter)
5. Carrier (car ri er), 6. Carousels (car rou sels), 7. Cartoonist (car toon ist),8. Cartography (car tog ra phy)
9. Cardiovascular (car di o vas cu lar)
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
What am I?
You may praise your good fortune and curse all you hate,
Yet I rule all your chaos and gamble your fate.
By some I’m avoided by others I’m game,
Called by fat or slim, my meaning’s the same.
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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