WELCOME to Monday July 2, 2012. Puns….
Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know what time it is, but they don’t point to their pants when they need to ask where the restroom is?
Why are there no pictures of “no flash photography” signs?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
Why is is it called a roach clip? It should be called a pot holder.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why do doctors leave the room when you get undressed? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why does a pizza get to the house faster than an ambulance?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”, but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s the extra penny?
Why is the original text in a document called “copy”?
Why do drug stores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescription, but smokers can get their cigarettes up front?
Why is the small size of a candy bar the “fun size”? It’s more fun to eat a big candy bar.
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why are there handicap parking places in front of the skating rink?
Why doesn’t whoop-ass doesn’t come in bottles?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and then a diet coke?
Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?
Why do banks leave both doors open but they chain the pens to the counter?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course.
Peter F. Drucker
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
Sue Murphy
If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.
Yogi Berra
If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.
Dave Allen
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Carl Gustav Jung
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Unknown
Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you.
Unknown
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A plane full of Japanese car parts has exploded in midair today. A local weatherman said it was raining Datsun cogs.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Now, you’ve got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.”
Answer: Pulp Fiction! The Wolf says this to Jules, Jimmie and Vincent, while devising a plan to vacate the premises before Bonnie gets home and calculates that they have about 40 minutes to get going. Did you know? Direcor Quentin Tarantino originally wanted Michael Madsen to play the lead role (he was tied up in “Wyatt Earp” at the time), while Harvey Weinstein was pushing for Daniel Day-Lewis. Travolta, whose career was floundering at this point, accepted the role for far less money than either of the front-runners would have been paid. Fortunately, “Pulp Fiction” revitalized Travolta’s career and nabbed him an Oscar nomination.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “At my signal, unleash hell.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Find an anagram for each word in Group A. Each anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.
Group A
A. Shale B. Pique C. Nixed D. Greet E. Lodge
Group B
1. White heron 2. Provide gear 3. Eyed suggestively 4. Dog’s lead 5. Alphabetical reference
ANSWER: A. Shale = (4) Leash B. Pique = (2) Equip C. Nixed = (5) Index D. Greet = (1) Egret E. Lodge = (3) Ogled
Monday’s Quizzlers is……….
Georges, Patrick, Charlis, Samuel and Bruno are five Frenchmen. Georges knows English and Chinese. Patrick knows Chinese and Japanese. Charlis knows Japanese and German. Samuel knows German and English. Bruno knows them all: English, Chinese, Japanese and German.
In how many ways can they sit in a row, such that any two neighboring persons have no problems in communication?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE SOLVING BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com.,
http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/
The World According to the Eucman! 