WELCOME to Thursday July 5, 2012. Thoughts on Aging…..
You enjoy watching the washer and dryer in action.
You stop lying about your age and you start bragging about it.
Your friends compliment you on your alligator shoes, but you’re barefoot.
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
You’re cautioned to “slow down” – not by the police but by your doctor!
You are getting a little action today – but that means the fiber is working.
You think “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
You think an “all-nighter” is not having to get up to pee.
A sexy woman walks by and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
You’re the life of the party, even if it lasts until 8 PM.
You’re smiling all the time because you can’t hear a thing anyone is saying.
You’re very good at telling stories over and over and over and over.
You’re aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as cute as yours.
You’re very good at opening childproof caps (with a hammer).
You’re not grouchy; you just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.
You’re wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just your left leg.
You’re having trouble remembering simple words like…
You’re a walking storeroom of facts – you’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.
Everything either dries up or leaks.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Chicago has changed a lot since the last time we were here. I’m having
a hard time calling the Sears Tower the Willis Tower. It just feels wrong.
It’s like calling the Olive Garden an Italian restaurant.” -Conan O’Brien
“Denmark is charging a fat food tax on cheese, meat, and oil. Here, we call
that the Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast.” -Jay Leno
“A TSA screener in Kansas City is facing criticism for giving a pat-down to an
8-month-old baby. You don’t pat down a baby! You stick him in a tray and
run him through the X-ray machine.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A job applicant was asked, “What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?”
“Well,” he began, “my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality–sometimes I have a
little trouble telling what’s real from what’s not.” “Okay,” said the interviewer. “And what are your strengths?” “I’m Batman.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It’s okay, I wouldn’t remember me either.”
Answer: American Beauty! Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) says this during the first part of the movie,
after it becomes clear by his narration that he is depressed and believes himself to be a forgettable loser.
Did you know? DreamWorks was very opposed to Kevin Spacey being cast as Lester, and suggested higher profile actors, including John Travolta, Bruce Willis, and Kevin Costner. Director Sam Mendes (chosen after 20 other people turned down the directing job) insisted that Spacey was right for the part; Spacey went on to win an Oscar.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Use the 26 letters of the alphabet to complete the ten words below, replacing each underscore with a letter. Each letter can only be used once.
1. _O_AL
2. _ET_ _R 3. _ _EA_H 4. _ _OST 5. _AC_A_ 6. I_ _UIR_
7. S_I_T
8. E_A_IN_T_ON 9. O_ON_ 10. _RIZE_
ANSWER: 1. VOCAL 2. DETOUR 3. BREATH 4. GHOST 5. JACKAL 6. INQUIRY
7. SWIFT 8. EXAMINATION 9. OZONE 10. PRIZES
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables which you must use to figure out the 9 words. Syllable List – cu, di, er ets, ist, lar, ni, ni, o, pen, phy, ra, ri , rou, sels, ter, tog, toon, val, vas, vore Syllable-starter: car
How many syllables, each word has:
1. (2)
2. (3)
3. (3)
4. (3)
5. (3)
6. (3)
7. (3)
8. (4)
9. (6)
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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