WELCOME to Friday July 6, 2012. Changed Jobs..WHY?
I used to be a butcher, but I backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work.
I used to be an optician, but I made a spectacle of myself.
I worked on screen doors, but I strained myself.
I used to work as a hot-air balloon pilot, but my status was up in the air.
I used to work in a frozen food factory, but I got fresh and then they canned me.
I used to work in a dairy. I got fired for getting in the whey.
I lost my job at the massage parlor. I rubbed people the wrong way.
I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn’t find an opening.
I was working in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.
I tried to be a chef. I imagined it would add a little spice to my life, but I didn’t have the thyme.
I once was a tailor, but I wasn’t suited for it. It was a so-so job.
I worked at Starbucks, but it was the same old grind.
I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
I tried to work at a deli, but no matter how I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
I worked for a plumber, but that work was too draining.
I even worked as a lumberjack, but I couldn’t hack it. So they gave me the ax.
I tried to work in a shoe factory, but I couldn’t fit in.
I became a fisherman, but couldn’t live on my net income.
I was a musician, but I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I then got a job at a workout club, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
I got a job as a historian, but there was no future in that!
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Pseudoscience describes theories that sound like science but are actually
just made up, like aromatherapy or biorhythms or love.” -Craig Ferguson
“According to a Twitter study, people are happiest on the weekends and when
their workday is over. They also discovered that if you stand in front of a
moving train, it will kill you.” -Jay Leno
“The NYPD is apparently teaching its officers how to be more polite. It’s true
last time I got frisked, the cop was like, ‘Have you lost weight?'” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A minor league ballplayer, left in charge of a baby cousin, suddenly realized
that he did not have the least idea how to change a diaper. Frantically, he called
a friend who was luckily a father. The friend calmed down the ballplayer, then gave him
the following instructions. “Place the diaper in the position of a baseball diamond, with
you at bat. Fold second base over home plate. Place baby on pitcher’s mound, then
pin first base and third base at home plate!”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’
is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”
Answer: The Matrix! Morpheus says this to Neo, when Neo can’t come to terms with the “real” world, after he becomes unplugged. Did you know? Will Smith turned down the role of Neo to star in “Wild, Wild West,” while Nicolas Cage turned down the same role for personal reasons. Sandra Bullock declined the role of Trinity and Sean Connery turned down the role of Morpheus. “The Matrix” was filmed almost entirely in Australia, but hid as many landmarks as possible to make it seem like it was an everyday American town. Some are still visible though, such as the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables which you must use to figure out the 9 words. Syllable List – cu, di, er ets, ist, lar, ni, ni, o, pen, phy, ra, ri , rou, sels, ter, tog, toon, val, vas, vore Syllable-starter: car
How many syllables, each word has:
1. (2) 2. (3) 3. (3) 4. (3) 5. (3) 6. (3) 7. (3) 8. (4) 9. (6)
ANSWER: 1. Carets (car ets) 2. Carnival (car ni val) 3. Carnivore (car ni vore) 4. Carpenter (car pen ter)
5. Carrier (car ri er) 6. Carousels (car rou sels) 7. Cartoonist (car toon ist) 8. Cartography (car tog ra phy)
9. Cardiovascular (car di o vas cu lar)
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
Find an anagram for each word in Group A. Each anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.
Group A
A. Shale
B. Pique
C. Nixed
D. Greet
E. Lodge
Group B
1. White heron
2. Provide gear
3. Eyed suggestively
4. Dog’s lead
5. Alphabetical reference
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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