WELCOME to Thursday July 11, 2012. Actual Signs…..
On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
On an electrician’s van: “We’ll remove your shorts!”
In a veterinarian’s office: “Back in 15 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
On the door to a proctologist’s office: “To expedite your visit, please back in.”
At a tailor shop: We give our customers the lowest prices and workmanship
At a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Please do not hunt during daylight”
On a septic tank business: “We’re #1 in the #2 business”
At a photo studio: “Have your kids shot while you wait!”
In a cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.”
In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”
At a teriyaki restaurant: “$3.99 Chicken Bowel!”
In a Vermont men’s store: “25 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”
On a shopping mall marquee: “Archery Tournament – Ears pierced”
In a Mall: “Ears pierced, while you wait”
In a New Jersey store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”
Seen on a Taco Bell sign in Coralville, Iowa: “Everyday low value”
In a Maine restaurant: “At your service: Open 7 days a week and weekends.”
On a radiator repair garage: “Best place to take a leak.”
In the vestry of a Westminster church: “Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.”
Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.”
In an Ohio cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
In Vancouver, British Columbia, on a folding sign in front of a small language school: “English Tootering”
On a roller coaster: “Watch your head.”
On the grounds of a public school: “No trespassing without permission.”
On a Tennessee highway: “When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
In a New Hampshire car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”
On a fixit-shop: We can fix anything! (Please knock loudly, doorbell broken)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
Love may be blind, but it can sure find its way around in the dark!
Author Unknown
They say marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
I believe in dragons, fairies, good men and other mythical creatures!
Author Unknown
You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.
Mark Twain
As God once said, and I think rightly…
Margaret Thatcher
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Woody Allen
Whoever said ‘nothings impossible’ never tried to nail jell-o to a tree.
Lisa Bryant
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
There once was a girl named Carmen Cohen. Her mother called her Carmen and her father called her Cohen.
It got so that she didn’t know whether she was Carmen or Cohen.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t you tell me what to see! I see someone in front of me who got his partner in trouble and sent her off to some butcher, while he moved on to an innocent young girl like my daughter!”
Answer: Dirty Dancing! These words were said by an angry Jake Houseman, to Johnny Castle, after the former mistook the latter as the father of Penny’s baby. The plot of the 1987 film, “Dirty Dancing”, revolved around the youngest daughter of the Houseman family, nicknamed ‘Baby’, (played by Jennifer Grey) and dance instructor, Johnny Castle, (played by Patrick Swayze). While holidaying with her parents and sister, Baby began a relationship with Johnny, after agreeing to stand in for his dance partner, Penny. Unfortunately for the pair, their relationship was frowned upon by most people, especially Baby’s father, who considered Johnny to be a bad influence on his daughter.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I feel just like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”. You know, except for the whole hooker thing.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I am three words,
Two of them appear the same,
Two are pronounced the same.
One is the third person use of “capable” or “permit”.
One means to sleep, but only for a bit.
The last word means a group of deer,
Perhaps now you can tell me, what words are here?
ANSWER: First word: Does
Second word: Doze
Third word: Does
Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
A palindrome is a word or phrase that reads the same, if it’s turned back-to-front. The names Bob, Eve, and Otto are all palindromes. So is the name of the pop group Abba. Try to identify palindromic words from the following clues. Good luck!
Example: Part of the body
Answer: Eye
1. Midday
2. A young dog
3. Flat
4. Word for addressing a lady
5. An Eskimo canoe
6. A system for detecting aircraft, ships, etc.
7. An action
8. Pieces of music for one person
9. Grass that grows on the seashore
10. In music, half a semibreve
11. Doctrine
12. Restorer
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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