WELCOME to Thursday August 2, 2012. Bad Literature….

The confidence in his smile… that smile that pulled me in like ice cream melting down a cone.

With the broken sob of a candy mugged infant, Brett rolled across the bed into the recently vacated hollow – a depression created by the recently departed Maria.

Gerald began – but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them “permanently” meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash – to pee.

Danny, the little Grizzly cub, frolicked in the tall grass on this sunny Spring morning, his mother keeping a watchful eye as she chewed on a piece of a hiker they had encountered the day before.

As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.

Racing through space at unimaginable speeds, Capt. Dimwell could only imagine how fast his spaceship was going.

When Detective Riggs was called to investigate the theft of a trainload of Native American fish broth concentrate bound for market, he solved the case almost immediately, being that the trail of clues led straight to the trainmaster, who had both the locomotive and the Hopi tuna tea.

India, which hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before.

It was high noon in the jungles of South India when I began to recognize that if we didn’t find water for our emus soon, it wouldn’t be long before we would be traveling by foot; and with the guerilla warriors fast on our heals, I was starting to regret my decision to use poultry for transportation.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say “I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER.”.
William S. Burroughs

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts, while others come into
our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
Unknown

Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Unknown

Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance
agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said, “Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss.” So the man agreed and made his first wish. “I want lots of money”, he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man’s bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss’ account. For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss’ house appeared two of each car. Finally the genie said, “This is your last wish, you should choose carefully”, and so the man replied… “I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney…”

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I know about pigeons, Lilly.”

Answer: In the Line of Fire! Early in this 1993 film, Secret Service Agent Frank Horrigan (Clint Eastwood) tells his colleague Lilly Raines (Rene Russo) that he “know[s] about people.” This skill comes in handy, since Horrigan spends most of the film playing cat and mouse with a man who plans to assassinate the President of the United States. At the very end of the film, Frank and Lilly are sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, watching a group of pigeons. Horrigan tells Lilly that one particular pigeon will fly away before another one will. Lilly asks how he knows that, and Horrigan responds with the above line, a self-deprecating dig of sorts against his earlier boast.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? A: “Two more months.” B: “Two more months.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Who can’t live without Spell Check in their email or word software? It’s a great tool… Unless you are poor Paula Abdul who transforms into “Pail Abut” when the Spell Checker has at her. The following Music Stars have been Spell Checked and are ready for you to uncover their true identities.

1. Keen Chimney, 2. Bayonet Knowledge, 3. Retching Wilson, 4. Jousting Tumblers, 5. Went Steamy
6. Madden, 7. Tubby Kith, 8. Pariah Curry, 9. Rebel Mentioned, 10. Cozy About

The answers are: F. Railroad Station The first letter of each place he went to spells out the word “teaser.”
Theater
Er Hospital
Art Center
Supermarket
Energy Plantation
Railroad Station

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
You are a prisoner sentenced to death. The Emperor offers you a chance to live by playing a simple game. He gives you 50 black marbles, 50 white marbles and 2 empty bowls. He then says, “Divide these 100 marbles into these 2 bowls. You can divide them any way you like as long as you use all the marbles. Then I will blindfold you and mix the bowls around. You then can choose one bowl and remove ONE marble. If the marble is WHITE you will live, but if the marble is BLACK… you will die.” How do you divide the marbles up so that you have the greatest probability of choosing a WHITE marble?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., http://www.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.