WELCOME to Friday August 9, 2012.

Camping Tips

Q. What equipment will I need to go camping?

A. You need a tent. Tent sizes are measured in units of men, as in “a three-man tent”; this tells you how many men are required to erect the tent if they are all professional tent engineers. Even then, the tent will collapse under unusual weather conditions, such as nightfall. You will also need a hatchet, for the spiders, and a credit card, for the motel.

Q. Where should I go camping?

A. The United States has a spectacular national park system with millions of unspoiled acres where wildlife is protected by federal laws. Avoid these places. You want a commercial facility with a name like “The Stop ‘n’ Squat Kountry Kamp-ground,” where large animals cannot fit through the 6-inch gaps between the Winnebagos.

Q. How much food should I take?

A. A lot. You’ll be providing food not only for your family, but also for the entire raccoon community. When I was a boy in rural Armonk, our garbage cans were regularly terrorized by a gang of brilliant criminal raccoons. I recall being awakened at 3 a.m. by loud noises and looking out the window to see, by moonlight, my father, a peace-loving Presbyterian minister, charging around in the bushes, wildly swinging a baseball bat and saying non-Presbyterian words.

Of course, he did not get the raccoons; you NEVER get the raccoons.

Q. What if I get lost?

A. If you don’t have a compass, stand very still and listen very carefully, until you hear this sound: “eh-eh-eh.” That is Canada. Whatever you do, don’t go that way. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Wonderful weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Mitt Romney is claiming he’ll create 12 million jobs in his first term. However,
Romney hasn’t said whether he’ll create those jobs in China or India.” -Conan O’Brien

“It is week two of the Olympics. Wow, it is just whizzing by, this Olympics.
Seems like it was only yesterday that it was a month before the Olympics.” -Craig Ferguson

“They say it now costs $250,000 to raise a child to age 18, and that doesn’t
count college, which is like $50,000 a year. So kids, if you want to give dad a
great Father’s Day gift, run away.” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A 17-year-old girl came home with five job applications. She carefully filled them out, and later asked her mother to look them over.
All the answers were clear and concise and she noticed that on all five applications, under “Previous Employment”, she had listed “Baby-sitting”. But then she read, under “Reason for Leaving” her daughter had answered, “Parents came home.”

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Go get ’em, tiger.”

Answer: Spider-Man 2! Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) encourages Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) to put on his costume and go do his thing at the very end of the film. He lets out a “Ya-hoo!” as he swings away from the apartment, but MJ’s line is really the last official dialogue in the film. “Spider-Man 2” focused mainly on Peter Parker’s struggles with responsibility and duty, and ended with a resolution to his vascillating feelings about Mary Jane.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Welcome to the new world, sir.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
An antigram is an anagram which has a meaning opposite to its unscrambled version.

Try these: EVIL’S AGENTS REAL FUN NICE LOVE NO MORE STARS
The answers are: EVANGELISTS, FUNERAL, VIOLENCE, ASTRONOMERS

 

Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
For each of the following word pairs, you are looking for two word answer, the first is a rhyme of the first word and gives the category. The second word is a rhyme and is a specific word in that category. For example, “Kitty, Tennis” translates to “City, Venice”.

1. Varmint, Packet
2. Duller, Fellow
3. Speaker, Spiky
4. Funny, Scholar
5. Petal, Shopper
6. Foxer, Bison
7. Fetal, Bingo
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., ww.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.