WELCOME to Thursday August 16, 2012.
Daffynitions #2

Eclipse: What an English barber does for a living.

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Elbonics: The art of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a theatre.

Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Extravaganza: The spare vaganza you keep on hand in case you run out of vaganzas.

Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

Fine: A tax for doing wrong.

Flabbergasted: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Flatulence: Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

Flusterpated: Being so flustered that words get bound up inside you.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Frisbeetarianism: The belief that when one dies, the soul flies up to the roof and gets stuck there.

Gargoyle: Olive flavor mouthwash.

Generica: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Gossip: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Heroes: What a guy in a boat does.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.

Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an a**hole.

Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Instigator: What you add water to when you want an alligator. (thanks to PTA)

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O. J. trials were a prime example.

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

Lasterday: Any day before today.

Left Bank: What the robber did after his bag was full of loot.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
I’ve bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
Patrick Murray

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.
Oscar Wilde

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.
Salvador Dali

Under capitalism – man exploits man. Under communism it’s just the opposite.
John Kenneth Galbraith

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Unknown

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman. . . or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
George Burns

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A guy walks into a bar with a dog. He claims the dog can talk. “Give me a beer and I’ll show you.” The bartender slides a beer to him and the man asks the dog, “Fido, what is that above our heads?” The dog says, “Roof!” The irritated bartender says, “That’s not talking, he sounds like any other dog.” The man says, “OK, how about this – Fido, who was the best baseball player of all time?” The dog says, “Ruth!” The bartender throws the man and the dog out of the bar. Fido says to the man, “Ya think I shouldda said DiMaggio?”

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t smirk. I shan’t kiss you.” “Pity, ’cause I shaved very close this morning in preparation for getting smacked by you.”

Answer: Patton! In this scene British Field Marshal, Bernard Montgomery (Michael Bates), and his troops parade into Messina during the Sicily invasion thinking they got there first, but then they see American General George Patton (George C. Scott) and his troops already there, waiting to review the British. An uncomfortable-looking Montgomery says the first line and a beaming Patton says the second. “Patton” won seven Oscars in the 1971 Academy Awards, including Best Picture. George C. Scott was chosen the winner for Best Actor but refused to accept the Oscar, stating that competition between actors was unfair and calling it a “meat parade.” The role of Patton was turned down by Rod Steiger, Lee Marvin, Robert Mitchum and Burt Lancaster.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?”
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser, you have to find the odd ones out in the groups of words. BUT WAIT! There’s a catch. Each group of words has TWO words which do not belong. Can you find them both?

EXAMPLE: Lily – Jane – Tulip – Rose Jane does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a flower.
Tulip also does not belong because it’s the only one which is not a girl’s name. You’re on your own for the rest!

1. Dodge – Ford – Lincoln – Hoover 2. King – Earl – Knight – Bishop 3. Yellow – Green – Dead – Black

The answers are: 1. Hoover does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a car manufacturer. Dodge does not belong as it’s the only one which is not the last name of a President of USA.

2. Bishop does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a class of nobility. Earl does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a Chess piece.

3. Dead does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a color. Green does not belong as it’s the only one which is not the name of a sea.

 

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….
What phrase is represented below?

HEA wooden stick VEN

HEA wooden stick + sulphur head VEN

HEA wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip VEN
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., ww.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.