WELCOME to Friday August 17, 2012. Insults You can use…..

She’s so fat, she’s got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

She’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

He’s as sharp as a bowling ball.

He’s all hat, and no cattle.

You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my medication!

Does your face hurt, because it’s killing me!

He’s a couple of terrorists short of a Jihad.

He’s so dumb, he sits on the TV and watches the sofa.

Her driveway doesn’t go all the way to the road.

Thinks he’s a real wit. He’s half right.

In a battle of wits she’s unarmed.

The oven’s on, but nothing’s cooking.

He’s a little too tall for his blood supply.

When I think of all the people I respect the most, you’re right there, serving them drinks.

I haven’t been ignoring you; I’ve been prioritizing you.

Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

No, those pants don’t make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

He’s a few clowns short of a circus.

She’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

She’s a few Cokes short of a six-pack.

He’s a few peas short of a casserole.

The wheel’s spinning, but his hamster’s dead.

She’s one taco short of a combination plate.

She’s a few feathers short of a whole duck.

He’s all foam, no beer.

The cheese slid off his cracker.

Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“The U.S. is leading China in both number of gold medals and number of total medals.
In response, China said that’s nice but we still have all your money.” -Conan O’Brien

“Researchers at the University of Minnesota say movie theater popcorn may cause
memory loss. See, that explains why Hollywood keeps making the same movies
over and over again.” -Jay Leno

“New research found that 25 percent of Americans don’t know their own cell phone
number while the rest thought of a different excuse to get out
of dating that researcher.” -Jimmy Fallon

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a 20 dollar bill fell out onto the path. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are 20 dollar bills falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.” “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no,” said the old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, I would make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time a guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me 20, or off it comes.'” “Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?” “Not everybody pays.”

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?”
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Answer: Gone with the Wind! Producer David O. Selznick elected to pay a $5,000 fine so the second line could stay in the movie. In the 1940 Academy Awards, “Gone with the Wind” won nine Oscars, including Best Picture, Vivien Leigh for Best Actress in a Leading Role, and Hattie McDaniel for Best Actress in a Supporting Role. Clark Gable and Olivia de Havilland were nominated for Oscars but did not win. In this almost-final scene in the movie, Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) is finally disgusted with Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh) and leaves. When she pleads with him to stay with her, he replies with this famous quote. Contrary to popular belief, this is not the final line in the movie. That one is by Scarlett (“After all… tomorrow is another day”).

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “He’s not as tough as he thinks.” “Neither are we.”

TODAY’S MOVIE BUFF OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD SUPER SOLVING KIM!!!!

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?

HEA wooden stick VEN

HEA wooden stick + sulphur head VEN

HEA wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip VEN

The answers are: A Match made in Heaven!

A match (wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip, which are the components of matches) is being made in HEAVEN

 

Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
For each of the following word pairs, you are looking for a two word answer. The first is a rhyme of the first word and gives the category. The second word is a rhyme and is a specific word in that category. For example, “Kitty, Tennis” translates to “City, Venice”.

1. Fainter, Jolly
2. Slumber, Heaven
3. Reason, Printer
4. Quiver, Bongo
5. Power, Crazy
6. Handy, Muffle
7. Sticker, Frisky

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., http://www.Beaumont77.com., ww.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.