WELCOME to Friday September 7, 2012. Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters
1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same – they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don’t make fools of men – most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal…
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of
stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The agriculture department says we now have the smallest cattle
population in 60 years. That shows you how fat we’re getting. We’re
close to putting cows on the endangered species list.” -Jay Leno
“Studies are showing that Republican candidates are buying a lot of their
ad time on the Weather Channel. You can tell because last night, the
weatherman blamed the cold front on immigration and gay marriage.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Heading down the interstate, our car passed through a huge swarm of gnats so dense that their
bodies made popping noises as they hit the windshield. “I can’t get over how loud they are,” my wife said.
“Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour,” I pointed out. Her reply left me speechless.
“There’s no way bugs can fly that fast!”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Stop chasing me!” “I can’t stop, it’s my job.”
Answer: Catch Me If You Can! In this scene FBI agent Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks) takes a telephone call from con man and master forger Frank Abagnale, Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio) during the Christmas holiday. Dedicated agent Hanratty is in his empty office when all the other agents are home for the holiday. Abagnale is tired of running and says, “I want it to be over,” and then adds line one. Hanratty senses he is winning this race and replies with line two. This movie tells the true story of Frank Abagnale, Jr. who, before his 19th birthday, successfully impersonated an airline pilot, a doctor, and a lawyer and cashed more than $2.5 million in fraudulent checks in every U.S. state and 26 foreign countries.
In the 2003 Academy Awards actor Christopher Walken and music director John Williams were nominated for Oscars but neither won. The real life Frank Abagnale, Jr. was sentenced to 12 years in prison in the U.S. in 1971 (he also served prison time in France and Sweden, and other countries wanted to try him). His U.S. term was reduced for agreeing to serve as an FBI consultant (as was shown in the movie). He subsequently founded the firm of Abagnale & Associates, which advises the business world on fraud. Tom Hanks said, “Abagnale’s lecture may be the best one-man show you will ever see.” Books he has published include “Catch Me If You Can” (on which the movie is based), “The Art of the Steal” (on business fraud) and “Stealing Your Life” (on identity theft). He remains friendly with FBI agent Joe Shaye (the character of Carl Hanratty in the movie was based on him).
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Nice move! Always leaving the water running. Now we know each and every house that you’ve hit.”“You know, we’ve been looking for you guys for a long time.” “Yeah? Well remember, we’re the wet bandits. The wet bandits. W-E…” “Shut up!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Here are some MORE well-known expressions rewritten into “Cliff-ese”. For those of you who don’t know what that means, he was a very wordy person on the TV show “Cheers” and never used a small word where a larger one would work. Try to figure out the phrases in simpler terms.
1. Projecting short, loud, canine-like noises erroneously toward the top of an incorrect arboreal plant.
2. To subject a slender illumination device to rapid carbonization on its antipodal points.
3. To slay a brace of avian creatures with just a single petrous conglomeration.
4. Like sending dense shelly concretions through the air to fall in front of stout-bodied, artiodactyl creatures.
ANSWER: 1. Barking up the wrong tree.
2. Burn the candles at both ends.
3. Kill two birds with one stone.
4. Casting pearls before swine.
Friday’s Quizzlers is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) overweight dam builder & symptom of a sick flying mammal
2) bottom of the ocean & an insect-bitten dog has this
3) a cooking utensil & a nosy admirer
4) the person in charge of clocks and watches & the result of exposing silent actors to the sun
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPER SOLVING JOB BANKS! 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org.www.hopeBUILD.org.www.Eucmaninc.net.www.wcscatering.com., www.Beaumont77.com., ww.schoons.com.,www.awj-law.com.,http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com/.,http://cleancomedyguy.com/ http://www.simplycake.biz/www.chrissijforyourhair.com.
The World According to the Eucman! 