WELCOME to Thursday September 13, 2012.   Really Bad Analogies…..

Chicken: it’s like a cow, but different.

His fountain pen was so expensive it looked as if someone had grabbed the pope, turned him upside down and started writing with the tip of his big pointy hat.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep throaty genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east river.

Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY

Always remember, money isn’t everything – but also remember

to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

Earl Wilson

The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.

Quentin Crisp

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body,

then only left handed people are in their right mind.

Unknown

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty;

and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Anonymous

ARCHITECT is One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Ambrose Bierce 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A very religious man fell into the quicksand. Firefighters come by and offer to help, but he says, “No, God will help me.” Next come the police, they offer to help. Again the man says, “No, God will help me.” He then sinks in the quicksand to his death. In heaven, he asks God why he didn’t save him. God says, “What about the firemen and police I sent?” 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “I have never worked with somebody so unprofessional in my life! I mean, have you ever even acted before?” “Well, I’m learning. But let me tell you something, blondie, you’re not exactly Audrey Hepburn!” 

Answer: Beyond the Sea! In this scene, on a movie set for the 1961 movie “Come September”, actor Bobby Darin (Kevin Spacey) has just asked actress Sandra Dee (Kate Bosworth) to have dinner with him. She declines his offer, saying she is going to have dinner in her room and retire early. When Darin mocks her sense of excitement she says line one. Darin comes back with line two. This movie is not only a biopic of Bobby Darin’s life, but also a showcase for Kevin Spacey’s singing talent (he sings many of Darin’s songs in this movie).

 

In the 2005 Golden Globes awards, Kevin Spacey was nominated for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy (but lost to Jamie Foxx in “Ray”). Darin received a Grammy award in 1959 for his version of the song “Mack The Knife” and received an award for “Best New Artist of 1959.” Some of Darin’s hits include “Splish Splash” (1958), “Dream Lover” (1959), “Mack The Knife” (1959) and “Beyond the Sea” (1946). The movie set for “Come September” is where Bobby Darin met Sandra Dee. They later married and stayed together until Darin’s death at age 37 in 1973 (he had rheumatic fever as a child and wasn’t expected to live this long). Dee never remarried and died in 2005 at age 62. 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “Meet me in 20 minutes at the corner of El Dorado and Palm.” “Lady, not for a million dollars.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

For each of the pairs of words below, insert a word in the blank space between them to form two separate words such that the inserted word finishes the first word and begins the second. For example, given “MAN ____ ON”, you would insert the word “GO” to form “MANGO” and “GOON”. The hint gives the number of letters in each of the words that must be inserted. 

BOW ____ AGE     GENE ____ KING   LAND ____ GOAT   DIG ____ SELF   PAR ____ ATE 

ANSWER: LINE (bowline, lineage)

TIC (genetic, ticking)

SCAPE (landscape, scapegoat)

IT (digit, itself)

ROT (parrot, rotate) or DON (pardon, donate) 

 

Thursday’s Quizzlers is……….

Complete the series by making a selection from the pool.

 

Series: Hermes, Aphrodite, Gaea, Ares, Zeus, Cronus, Uranus, Poseidon, ?

 

Pool: Athena, Dionysus, Eros, Hades, Hephaestus, Hera 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.  www.schoons.com.  www.awj-Law.com., http://www.greengrassgroundsgroup.com. http://www.cleancomedyguy.com.