A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Governmentium.”  Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.  A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.  Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutron exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. The characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is called “Critical Morass.” When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 

 Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, “How come you aren’t married?” John: “I haven’t found the right woman yet.” George: “So what are you looking for?” John: “Oh she’s got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she’s got to know how to handle finances, have a nice and pleasant personality — and money, she’s got to have money, and a nice house wouldn’t hurt either.” George: “A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!” John: “Oh, it’s okay if she is crazy.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from??? “You met me at a very strange time in my life.”

Answer: Fight Club (1999) The narrator (Edward Norton) sums up this twisted tale of his scheme to channel male aggression. Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) is the insomniac office worker’s ‘partner’ in promoting this bizarre organization.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???    “Remember, honey. On your wedding night it’s all right to say yes.”